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Getting past the stupid stuff...

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strongerbytheday posted 10/20/2013 21:07 PM

Two years post Dday, 18mo past getting the real story, or at least most of it, I STILL get triggered by stupid stuff like when in a movie they talk about being someone's last first kiss. Or the OW name. My marriage and life are better now during reconciliation than before the A, however, these little triggers still get me. For those who have moved through this, how did you get past the little things that remind you of the A? And I am not trying to minimize feelings by calling them stupid things. It is just compared to the extreme trauma the A caused, a saying in a movie is trivial, and I feel stupid for letting these words still get under my skin.

LosferWords posted 10/20/2013 21:20 PM

These little triggers aren't stupid, but I definitely understand your frustration with them and why you call them that. It's perfectly normal for things in movies or TV shows to trigger these feelings. Much like comedies can trigger us to laugh and horror movies can trigger us to scream, infidelity references can trigger us to feel some of the feelings that we went through during d-day and the days/weeks/months following.

For me, facing the triggers head on, and allowing myself to feel what I felt eventually lessened the effects of the triggers gradually over time. I can now watch King of the Hill again. Dale Gribble's situation still triggers me a bit, but it doesn't flatten me like it used to.

Hang in there, and allow yourself to feel these things. It'll get better with time.

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