Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

A dream brought me down

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

Long Gone posted 10/20/2013 23:55 PM

Before I get into this......Facebook was what happened to us and her A...she signed up in 10/10 and yada...within 3 weeks she was in an affair with a guy she dated in college.

She dropped FB on her own and never looked back. She is and has been an absolute gem since then.....honestly.

Our first 2 years were tough, but we have moved mountains.

Last week she asked if she could once again sign up with me doing the registering...owning the email and having full access. She is missing so much with friends and family afar. I can understand that....

but.....I am not ready I think.

Last night I had a series of ugly dreams.....I have not felt the feelings I felt during and after the dream since shortly after DDay. We all know that feeling....the hopeless gut destroying feeling when you have been told that you were and have been irrelevant. That your partner of so many years has thrown you away for a piece of shit.

Thats the feeling.....its been a tough day....

I thought I was so far down the far....but now? not so much.

Gr8Lady posted 10/21/2013 00:06 AM

It is still an ever present trigger. IMHO we survived before Facebook and will do so without it. The real family and friends, we have the opportunity to reach out.
The others are acquaintances. It isn't worth loosing the progress you have both made in your healing.
Each of you should put one another first.
Just my opinion. The fact that the WS can put facebook aside, speaks volumes towards sensitivity to your feelings. If I understand correctly, it is connecting with friends on Facebook that is in question. True friends are still accessible. Right?

Jrazz posted 10/21/2013 01:01 AM

Dreams are rough because we experience real emotions from them and have to carry the memories as well.

It's ok not to be ready for her to get onto FB. Of COURSE it's a huge trigger, and I don't think it's really fair of her to ask. I get the long distance family thing, but we survived before FB somehow... and she used it as a tool to destroy her marriage so she should consider alternate means of keeping in touch with people. IMHO.

You're doing ok - this is a little setback. Take deep breaths, be true to yourself. This will pass.

(((Long Gone)))

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 ®. All Rights Reserved.     Privacy Policy