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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: Positive Monday post
catlover50
♀ 37154
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, October 21st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, things are going great with us. Unfortunately my H has come down with pneumonia (likely because he insisted on hiking the tallest mountain in New England with me last weekend with bronchitis just to make me happy) but he has continued to work and this weekend spent hours "Restoring" the deck, happily and without complaint. (you'd have to know my H to know what a big deal that is!). I helped him finish it up last night and we worked great together. I fell asleep early.

This am I went for my run and was worrying a bit since we hadn't made love since Friday night. DD was home, which was great, I was working, he was sick, I know, I know, but it has been a big part of our recovery. I thought about it and decided to just say nothing and see what happened.

So I got home and went upstairs and my H was running my bath. And then he joined me. And rocked my world. Afterwards he said that he wanted to make sure that I felt as much love as he was feeling and that I started my week off happy.

Then when I got to work I got a long text (I usually get one, but this was long) thanking me for all that I do for him and the family and saying how much he loves me.

I just really love my "new" husband!!

[This message edited by catlover50 at 10:00 AM, October 21st (Monday)]



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1845 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, October 21st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

although this is going to be a long week - parent/teacher conferences for me - I am bringing hubby some dinner home each night. He does not like to cook. I love to "feed him!" He doesn't like to be alone either so he's going to come up and visit me and pretend to be a parent...


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5774 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
catlover50
♀ 37154
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, October 21st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a lovely idea rachelc!



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1845 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, October 21st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Um...cat, where does the pneumonia fit in? Usually rest is prescribed, IIRC. Unattended, pneumonia can become really serious. (BTDT in 1966, and pneumonia still scares me.)


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10758 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
catlover50
♀ 37154
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, October 21st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, sisoon! He is getting better, on antibiotics. I'm not the one pushing him; that's him. And judging by the bathtub this am he's in fine shape!



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1845 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, October 21st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"Welcome the rawness of vulnerability as an opportunity to open." - Pema Chodron

Me: BW 35
Crazz: WH 33
Daughter: 4.5 Going on 16


Posts: 18694 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
topperoff22
♀ 40762
Member # 40762
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, October 21st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great counseling session today. We focused on coming up with a plan on how to calmly tell each other when we need a break from a discussion but also establish when we will return to the conversation we need a break from. hubby has also been super attentive and I am trying to express appreciation for his efforts even on the days I may feel angry and hurt about something.


BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month

Posts: 316 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: US
catlover50
♀ 37154
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, October 21st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's awesome topper!



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1845 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
bunni972
♀ 33690
Member # 33690
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, October 21st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love the positive posts.
We had MC counseling today and it was good. We made an agreement with regards to money/spending and making sure each other knows if we are going to be out with someone "outside" of the marriage; dinner with a friend, drinks with co-worker, etc.
MC also suggested to WH that he really needs to be in IC to help him deal with all his childhood trauma, she told him tonight she believes it is part of what is hurting our marriage. I have told him for years that I thought he needed to really talk with someone regarding what past but all he ever said was that it wouldn't change anything or help. This MC is the first to tell him that he needed to make sure to find someone that deals with trauma.
We both believe we are on the road to recovery, seem to be making progress.

[This message edited by bunni972 at 9:52 PM, October 21st (Monday)]


ME: BS 40
HIM: FWH 41
2 boys: 20, 17
DDay #1: October 17th 2011 (A w/ co-worker & visit with 2 "working girls"
DDay #2: September 20th 2013(A w/ girl from Craigslist. Had sex multiple times with 2 women he found on Ashley Madison.
Not s

Posts: 99 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: West Frankfort, IL
Topic Posts: 9

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