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catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 3:59 PM on Monday, October 21st, 2013
So, things are going great with us. Unfortunately my H has come down with pneumonia (likely because he insisted on hiking the tallest mountain in New England with me last weekend with bronchitis just to make me happy) but he has continued to work and this weekend spent hours "Restoring" the deck, happily and without complaint. (you'd have to know my H to know what a big deal that is!). I helped him finish it up last night and we worked great together. I fell asleep early.
This am I went for my run and was worrying a bit since we hadn't made love since Friday night. DD was home, which was great, I was working, he was sick, I know, I know, but it has been a big part of our recovery. I thought about it and decided to just say nothing and see what happened.
So I got home and went upstairs and my H was running my bath. And then he joined me. And rocked my world. Afterwards he said that he wanted to make sure that I felt as much love as he was feeling and that I started my week off happy.
Then when I got to work I got a long text (I usually get one, but this was long) thanking me for all that I do for him and the family and saying how much he loves me.
I just really love my "new" husband!!
[This message edited by catlover50 at 10:00 AM, October 21st (Monday)]
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 4:22 PM on Monday, October 21st, 2013
although this is going to be a long week - parent/teacher conferences for me - I am bringing hubby some dinner home each night. He does not like to cook. I love to "feed him!" He doesn't like to be alone either so he's going to come up and visit me and pretend to be a parent...
catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 4:33 PM on Monday, October 21st, 2013
What a lovely idea rachelc!
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:27 PM on Monday, October 21st, 2013
Um...cat, where does the pneumonia fit in? Usually rest is prescribed, IIRC. Unattended, pneumonia can become really serious. (BTDT in 1966, and pneumonia still scares me.)
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 5:58 PM on Monday, October 21st, 2013
Thanks, sisoon! He is getting better, on antibiotics. I'm not the one pushing him; that's him. And judging by the bathtub this am he's in fine shape!
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 6:02 PM on Monday, October 21st, 2013
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
topperoff22 ( member #40762) posted at 2:04 AM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013
Great counseling session today. We focused on coming up with a plan on how to calmly tell each other when we need a break from a discussion but also establish when we will return to the conversation we need a break from. hubby has also been super attentive and I am trying to express appreciation for his efforts even on the days I may feel angry and hurt about something.
BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month
catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 2:12 AM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
bunni972 ( member #33690) posted at 3:40 AM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013
Love the positive posts.
We had MC counseling today and it was good. We made an agreement with regards to money/spending and making sure each other knows if we are going to be out with someone "outside" of the marriage; dinner with a friend, drinks with co-worker, etc.
MC also suggested to WH that he really needs to be in IC to help him deal with all his childhood trauma, she told him tonight she believes it is part of what is hurting our marriage. I have told him for years that I thought he needed to really talk with someone regarding what past but all he ever said was that it wouldn't change anything or help. This MC is the first to tell him that he needed to make sure to find someone that deals with trauma.
We both believe we are on the road to recovery, seem to be making progress. 
[This message edited by bunni972 at 9:52 PM, October 21st (Monday)]
ME: BS 40
HIM: FWH 41
2 boys: 20, 17
DDay #1: October 17th 2011 (A w/ co-worker & visit with 2 "working girls"
DDay #2: September 20th 2013(A w/ girl from Craigslist. Had sex multiple times with 2 women he found on Ashley Madison.
Not s
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