Shawn, wake up. Hit the Healing Library and read every word! You're on the roller coaster. Get used to "I love you, but I'm not 'in love' with you". I'm sorry, call me the suspicious type, but do you believe you'll get the truth from either of them? I'm all for R, I'm in R myself, but you've got to be sure, positive that you have the truth and that there's full honesty before R can happen, plus she's got to want the R as well.
As far as sex goes. Is it too soon for you both? A LOT has happened here, even if they didn't have intercourse. There's a lot left to be worked out here and she needs to make a decision, one that unfortunately you have little to do to influence. You're biting from the same shit sandwich we've all had to bite on.
Get one thing. It's not YOUR fault. She's the one who chose to text, sext, flirt, and whatever else. It was consensual, she wasn't forced.
She's probably confused now as well. You caught her, she's probably stunned by that. They all think they're smarter than they are. Even the good cheaters eventually get caught. Speed enough times, you'll get pulled over. You both need time to figure out what each wants and can then begin building plans for whatever the future holds. Time....the mother of all salt in wounds...
Sorry, I wish I could say she'll say she's sorry, it'll never happen again, you're the one for her, she'll love you for eternity, and life will be the same as before. Hopefully it will, maybe it won't. Sorry, you'll be suspicious for a long time, there will be triggers. There will be more peaks and valleys to the roller coaster. Please give strong thought to IC and MC. Check with your employers, many offer assistance (EAP, AAP) that will pay for a certain number of sessions.
Glad you found us here and know you're not alone.