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Boob job or no boob job that is the question.

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letitout posted 10/21/2013 19:47 PM

Ok, since dday I have been working on a better me both physically and mentally.

One of the issues on the physical part is that I would like to have breast augmentation done. I really have the smallest boobs ever and always wanted some. Not big ones but some that would least fill out a B cup. I can picture myself looking so much better and feel better about my appearance.

The problem is, my H does not like "fake" boobs. He is very strong on this point. He likes me as I am and doesn't want me to get it done.

I really want them, but I have to sleep with him also, and knowing how he feels would really put a barrier between us.

I don't know what to do and just thought I would throw this out and get some opinions.

Dark Inertia posted 10/21/2013 19:55 PM

I had a breast augmentation. I had a very good doctor, I specifically told him that I wanted to look NATURAL. I was very adamant. Well, he did a wonderful job, because no one can tell. I have even had a few doctors tell me that they would not have known had I not said something. Remind your husband that getting a breast augmentation doesn't mean that they will stick you will porn star falsies :) And he won't know the difference in terms of the way it looks or feels.

I chose to get a breast augmentation because mine were wretched. They were literally touching my navel, I think in part due to sudden weight gain, and then my sudden weight loss. My self image was shot to shit, to say the least.

There are a lot of people who look down on this particular surgery, which is why I always hesitate to come forward in regards to something like this. But having a breast augmentation was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Definitely shop around for doctors, and check out the forums. There are tons of forums for this, and they are very helpful.

Good luck with your decision!

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 7:57 PM, October 21st (Monday)]

Alyssamd24 posted 10/21/2013 20:07 PM

I personally would love to get a boob job. If it weren't so expensive and if I had the money for it I probably would do it. Like you , I wouldn't want anything too big

UndecidedinMA posted 10/21/2013 20:11 PM

I can picture myself looking so much better and feel better about my appearance.

The only thing I would ask - Did you want one before A?

If not try & get to why now?

BTW I would kill for a boob job, soon as I get the money. I lost 200lbs and mine are not under my chin anymore

rachelc posted 10/21/2013 20:14 PM

I say live the life YOU want to live, without hurting other people.
It's opinion that ppl don't have plastic surgery to look better than other people, they just want to look normal and proportioned...,

topperoff22 posted 10/21/2013 20:15 PM

If your husband loves them the way they are then why are you concerned about how they look? Isn't his opinion the one that counts. Also, maybe be sure that this isn't an effort to make yourself feel better after the A. This isn't just new clothes or dying your hair....which I did. .it is major surgery. In my case, and just in my case, no man is worth that. This being is only my opinion.

Skan posted 10/21/2013 20:22 PM

The only person's opinion that truly matters, is yours. Your WH may have a preference, but it IS your body. Just as you would frankly not have the right to tell him that he couldn't have a Prince Albert piercing, should he want one, you have the right to decide what to do with your body. I would suggest exploring the reasons together as a couple, out of respect for each other's opinions, but when push comes down to shove, the only person that has a right to dictate one's body choices is the person living in the body.

heartache101 posted 10/21/2013 20:45 PM

Do what makes YOU happy.
You should never have surgery for anyone other than yourself!

LA44 posted 10/21/2013 20:47 PM

I think skan nailed it in that you need to be happy w you. It sounds like you have always wanted to do this and the A has pushed you to address some longstanding issues you have been unhappy about. I can relate.

I did not have my boobs done but did get lipo under my chin. It bothered me since my teen years and for the last few years I would make an appt and then cancelled. Well. The A broke my hesitation. I was tired of putting off a decision I wanted to do for years. Tired of putting me last! It was not a necessity. It was a want. So what? I am so glad I did it.

Your H doesn't want you to do this? But you do. It's your life and your intentions sound pure.

Good luck!

Jadedgirl posted 10/21/2013 21:00 PM

Go for it!! I'm also on the fence. Ive lost over 50 lbs and want a "mommy makeover". Maybe we all could find a dr who would offer a group rate - lol

heartbrokeninaz posted 10/21/2013 21:13 PM

That is my goal also! As soon as I hit the weight I want to be:) I have large breasts but I just want them higher not larger. Do what makes you feel good! Maybe take him with you so he can see what they would look like.

letitout posted 10/21/2013 21:25 PM

Thanks for all of your replies. I'm going to go for it! Will have to give you an update when it is done.

emotionalgirl posted 10/21/2013 21:34 PM

I have no opinion one way or another on wether a woman should do breast augmentation or not. However as a medical professional I always feel the need to remind people of one thing.

This is major surgery, with any major surgery there are risks. Those risks include, post op infections, hospital acquired MRSA, poor results, if incisions become infected the results can be scars and disfigurement . Then in the worst case death from anesthetic, or form the above stated infections.

I find that with cosmetic surgery becoming so common now, people forget the risks.

If you have children, please consider above all that the could be left without their mother. All because of new boobs.

The choice is ALWAYS up to the individual, but I believe that everyone should make an informed choice.

Good luck whatever your choice

spinning73 posted 10/21/2013 22:30 PM

Medical professional here that had mommy makeover (few months before A go figure!) spring 2012.

I love my boobs! I thought tummy tuck would make biggest difference, but by far, I feel best about the breast augmentation,
(i had lost 100 lbs and breast fed 3 kids. Previously ample boobs were deflated. Now a generous C but natural feeling and looking. I also stressed to my surgeon the importance of natural. "Tear drop"shape., no stuck on beach balls!!
Augmentation was easiest recovery of tummy tuck, thigh lipo, and BA I had done together.
But.. New boobs didn't keep him my wh from cheating. Make sure it's for you, not for Fwh or to compete with ow. They Can help self confidence IMO. Good luck!

Dreamland posted 10/21/2013 23:13 PM

I think it's about putting us first.. As BW now I feel entitled to take care of me and even put me first above my family. I feel like I gave them my all and always put THEM first.
I now have considered plastic surgery. I too lost almost 80 pounds and if I had the money would do a mommy makeover. My boobs especially have deflated. I hate them now. I always had nice boobs even when it was heavy. But now ugh. My fWH says he loves them and they are still great but I know they aren't. Anyway. Lots of things are on my list of Wants.
I say go for it especially if you are going to feel better about yourself. and yes I wish we could get an SI rate

Scubachick posted 10/22/2013 03:02 AM

I've had my boobs done twice. Go with silicone gel. Looks and feels more natural. I bet once you get them, your husband will love them.

MrsDoubtfire posted 10/22/2013 03:37 AM

You do need to consider your spouse in my opinion as you're now meant to be working as a team BUT it's your body first so that should help you decide.

Two things that come to mind:
Augmented breasts need changing so this won't be a one off operation so can you afford the upkeep?

Also, was you wanting them bigger something that's come to light only since his A? If it is you need to really think about whether yo are doing it to boost your esteem based on his actions as that would be like having a boob job to try to cure him of alcoholism etc.

Good luck in your decision and please keep us posted.

[This message edited by MrsDoubtfire at 9:01 AM, October 22nd (Tuesday)]

painfulpast posted 10/22/2013 04:51 AM

I've been considering the same thing. I've seen a couple of surgeons for consultations. I'm definitely getting silicon over saline, but for those that have had the procedure - do you recommend under the muscle or over? I want as absolutely natural as possible for results.


And letitout - you get them if you want them!! You do what is right for YOU. I know two people that got them - both husbands said they liked natural, and both LOVE the new boobs their wives got.

betrayedme2 posted 10/22/2013 07:11 AM

From a guy's perspective. If it were my wife. I'd want her to be happy. I think she's perfect, but if there was something she wanted to work on that meant a lot to her--total support. My WS needs better self esteem and anything that would help her self image---go for it!!! You're a couple, so make the decision together. If you're in counseling, talk about it. If your're not in counseling, talk about it. IMO, it's something you both need to be comfortable with.

Couple things to consider. A lot of guys think that when their wife gets a boob job, divorce is around the corner. and I mean a LOT of guys think that. Boob jobs are a signal to husbands that their wife wants other men to look at them. Out of the blue the other day my wife and I were with a group of friends and subject came up. One of the first things said was "you know what happens after a boob job". Nearly EVERYONE in the group said "divorce". Is your husband afraid that you want them for other reasons.....? Talk!!!!!! It is your body ultimately, but if you're working as a healthy couple, isn't it his too?

If you're afraid it'll put a barrier between you, especially in bed, I hope you both get on the same comfort level before having it done.

Knowing posted 10/22/2013 07:11 AM

Your WS is doing you a favour by not supporting your desire for a breast augmentation. The A had nothing to do with you, your breasts or the sex you were having or not having. It is all about your WS' inner brokenness.

I am my WS' "young wife", thin w/boobs, cute, fun-loving, hot in bed... He still cheated. After I found out about his A, I found a million and one things I could change about my appearance and our home... But his A had nothing to do with any that. (Incidentally, having access to their secret email account gave me access to MCOW's google search history and when he dumped her like a hot potato, she was googling all kinds of plastic surgery procedures).

Just goes to prove we all fall into that trap. I would wait a good year or more. Spend some time in counselling. Oftentimes latent issues bubble to the surface in the wake if an A and this can give them the illusion of being "legitimate" and give them more power and urgency, just by the dint of the fact they have "returned" (or always seemed to "be there".

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