It seems to be part of life that people feel the need for us to know what the WH's are doing. I don't know why that is, is it human nature?
I'm trying to handle that very thing today and am noticing some changes in myself as I go through the process. Some good ones.
Two years out we've had some time but I don't see why we're immune yet...after all, we had a ton invested in these people and they were a big part of life. Two years isn't a great deal of time, in some ways, and especially for monumental trauma and change.
In my case, change is still stampeding ahead at the hands of the XPervert, so that I and DD aren't able to heal.
Two years is only two holidays, two anniversaries and so on.
Maybe there's a way to reharness our reactions to XWH news? I've been trying to figure this out because I want no more wasted life at this awful, souless person's hands. I want to feel joy again and I don't think I need an SO to do it.
When I did hear the rumors this time, though I stood up for myself and told the rumor mill stirrer my terms. It shut her up a little and confused her.
Maybe there's a way to feel weak and wounded for a little while and then not think of it again? But this is easier said than done.
I tell myself little mantras, like, "I'm still here", "I'm still getting up every day", "my kids aren't sick from my cooking" and so on.
We don't have to let this be so important, as someone told me recently, or the person who is our XWH. Mine's been gone two years too and I can't figure out why he still affects me this way, except that negative things always stood out to me more and longer than positive.
Why is that?
ETA to agree with newnormal. In this period of time with all the baby care, my appearance is sorely neglected. Yet people are complimentary of my appearance and I don't understand it.
Recently I've lost some huge amounts of physical pain and maybe that's what they mean, I've lost huge amounts of weight too, but as for hair, makeup, being put together-not happening right now. But people comment that my face looks clearer and one said "You have a glow".
Also caught the XPervert gazing at me once when I fell asleep with the baby in my lap. Gave me shudders.
[This message edited by Ashland13 at 12:15 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)]
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.