The day it started 1 yr ago
22nd Oct 2012 is when my WH crossed the line into his 2nd PA. That day is here & I'm struggling. The reality of it all is kicking me in the gut.
My heart aches, can't breathe. Can't express to him how I feel as I can't express it to myself. I want to run away & hide. Make it go away. I know I'm creating distance but I can't help it. I feel like I'm suffocating & this is amplified when he comes near, touches me, or is affectionate.
He had been truly remorseful & is doing everything right. Being there for me, honest, open, kind, considerate, going to IC &MC. The whole lot. Right now he is being the perfect husband - the husband I wish he had been a year ago.
I know he's hurting right now too as he doesn't know what to do & I don't know what it is that I need. Well I do know - for none of it to have happened in the 1st place - but that can't be. It's such a struggle. We are working on R and I want us to get through this. I hope it gets easier?
The thoughts in my head are so negative & nasty. I know it's not helping me or good for me but I can't control it. Does it get easier?
Me BW - 42
Him WH - 43
Together 14yrs married 6.
OW#1 Dday1 9/11 DDay2 11/12 Dday3 12/11
OW#2 Dday1 06/13 (praying for no more)
Sept 2015: Started divorce proceedings. He hasn't changed.
Dec 2015 confirmed OW#3 - well, she can have him.
