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Maybe this is all I can expect?

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hopeful18 posted 10/21/2013 20:19 PM

I am beginning to wonder if this is the best I can get from wh. I do not think he will cheat again but of course I was fooled once before. I really think his attitude now is we both have to be happy, he will do his best to make that happen, and if not he won't cheat but it will be over. I brought the part about it being over up at mc and mc was surprised to gear because he said wh never has once talked about wanting to leave.
It's just a feeling I get. I also thought he was very remorseful until I hit a rough patch of sadness in August. Apparently this frustrated him which he showed by anger towards me.
Things are more even now. Pleasant on the everyday front. But I am feeling like he is not capable of the reassurance I want. And maybe he is just selfish in many ways. Maybe he us trying his best but it falls short. I don't want to D. But starting to feel that maybe I have to come to terms with the fact that he is not going to be a model wh and he has many shortcomings that I need to accept if I want to stay married. Obviously not cheating and lying but maybe a lack of emotional ability or maybe he just does not love me as much as I had thought. Just confused

heartbrokeninaz posted 10/21/2013 21:19 PM

I don't believe any spouse is perfect. We have been together to long and we know better. If he honestly is talking to you, cares about how you feel, and helps you when you need it, what else can we ask? Its a hard place to get to because of the grief and hurt but if you can say he is trying his best, that's really all he can do. By the way 90% of people that had an affair do not want to leave their spouse. They may think things are headed there but they don't actually want it to happen.

[This message edited by heartbrokeninaz at 9:21 PM, October 21st (Monday)]

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