...YET....the brain will NOT turn off....
how long will he REALLY hang in there with my recovery...
having trouble moving on, getting on with MY life....
trying to turn it all off
am I nuts, nuts, nuts?
Can I run away please?
[This message edited by morethantrying at 11:08 PM, October 21st (Monday)]
The brain goes all tornado for a while. Don't hold yourself to having to be completely positive and have a game plan right now. It's crazytown for a while after DDay. (Admittedly I have no experience with two DDays, and 4 years apart... well, I can't imagine)
Have your thoughts, mull your options, then take a break. You have nothing but time to make a decision. Just try and let things unfold and work on the baby steps until you regain more solid footing.
And yes, if you decide you really and truly want to run away, you CAN.
[This message edited by Jrazz at 11:08 PM, October 21st (Monday)]
It's going to take time. A LOT of time. And if your WS can have three affairs and not give you all the time in the world to recover, then he's so not worth it.
You just have to decide if its worth staying in, do your best to heal, give yourself a ton of TLC and patience, and if he doesn't keep doing is part and/or can't "hang in there with your recovery" ... then he's being unreasonable and NOT doing his part. It takes as long as it takes. You can't worry about him. Just you. You are important. You matter. You don't have to cater to his guilt, hide your pain from him or shelter him in any way. (This is my counselor speaking through me. Things I'm trying to learn and practice myself.
Hang in there, girl.
I thought I had stopped pretending. I was wrong.
Me- BS 41
Him- WS 38 and STBX
2 DS- 15 and 16
DDay 1- 07-24-2013
DDay 2: EA w/CoW, 06-15-2017
when you find yourself thinking about and analyzing the A, ask yourself what you're feeling - and the answer can only be one or more of mad, sad, glad, or scared.
Thinking doesn't do much for healing from trauma - you've got to work through the feelings.