Anyone have any advice to help me explain this to him better?? OR am I expecting too much? Should I just accept he was more demonstrative with her because of the nature of the A? We were like that in the beginning/middle of our relationship but it definitely fell off, and almost stopped all together the past 3 years. I knew I loved him and I thought he loved me but it never occurred to me to show him outwardly. We did the Love Languages quiz and for both of us touch and words of affirmation are very high. I just can't understand why he finds it so hard to do with me now.
The 2nd thing (sorry this is so long) is that H still works with OW. He has been looking for another job but for reasons I won't get into, nothing has panned out yet. Recently I started thinking I almost don't want him to get a new one (as long as he can be happy there) because I truly believe he has no desire for a relationship with OW ever again. He has honored NC, will walk away if he sees her and barely acknowledges her when she does have to talk to him about work related things. He is uncomfortable there though because it is a small company and obviously everyone sees the tension. I think everybody knows what happened but all that has been said is they can't be "friends" any more. I know I'm rambling but to make a long story short, I almost feel like the devil you know is better than the one you don't? H seems to understand the hows and whys he chose to have an A and says he will not put himself in that position again...but it's still way too early for me to believe it. Thoughts??
[This message edited by AML04 at 8:15 AM, October 22nd (Tuesday)]
The sex with us had been really good, although I guess I would prefer it to be more intimate rather than sex. I guess I'd also love for him to be more verbal about it?? All I see in my head is texts to OW, one of them in particular where he said she was amazing. I want to feel that too, you know?
I do wonder if my love language would have been the same if I took the test before the A though.
As for the work thing, don't get me wrong, it is not the best case scenario. Right now he's pissed because she has no consequences so it's definitely stalling that feeling if indifference we would all like our WS to have. I know having any feelings for OW, even negative, isn't healthy for R but at least I trust nothing else will happen with her. Idk, maybe deluding myself.
[This message edited by AML04 at 10:37 AM, October 22nd (Tuesday)]