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It's been 2 solid months of NC, strictly kids and a little bit of finances.

It's been 2 months since the last time I even let him catch a glimpse of how this whole ordeal has affected me. I said everything I needed to say in that last phone call. Even though I'm sure it fell on deaf ears.

Now, its strictly business. Its still a daily struggle to not let him see my emotions but its getting a little bit easier. There was a time when I would have never dreamed of not speaking to him for days at a time but now I know I need the distance to move forward. There is nothing else to say. Most of our contact is via email. There is still the occasional brief conversation about homework or doctor's visits during child exchanges. But that's it.

I put a smile on my face and wave from the door when my kids leave. I never let him see me cry. I never let him know how deeply it hurts.

He doesn't deserve to know. He doesn't deserve any part of me. Not anymore.

I know it's hard. It will get easier. There are times when I want to react to something or even times when I feel like he is missing from something, even though he has been so awful to me and he clearly doesn't feel like he's missing out on anything. But those times don't last that long anymore. Keep it up....it gets a lot easier when you've detached.

(((hangingontohope7)))