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Newest Member: Sunshine46 (61866)

User Topic: Strange turn of events...
♀ 35238
Member # 35238
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW in my situation lives about an hour from where I live. I've never seen her in person or spoken to her. Neither of us has ever made any contact with each other.

This time last year my stepson was playing a football game in her town. I checked the schedule and obsessed about it for weeks. Would my WH go out there for the football game (he goes to all of his son's games)? Would she go to the game? All I could do was think about ways to keep him from going. I confronted him about it and explained how that made me feel and made me trigger. Blah blah blah. We were both in really bad places then.

Fast forward to last weekend. Stepson is playing a game against the same team but this time the game is out here. And guess what? I didn't even give a fuck. Yes, I checked the schedule at the beginning of the season, but that was it.

I used to spend so much time and emotions trying to put a stop to whatever it was they felt for each other. Trying to make him stop talking to her or thinking about her. It was like all of a sudden I stopped giving a fuck. Granted, a year has passed and there has been no contact between them. However, I find myself not really even caring if there is.

It is the most freeing sensation. I didn't even give it a second thought this weekend. I had a blast with my DS - working on his Halloween costume and going to the museum.

I don't feel like I'm explaining myself very well with this. The feeling of not caring (really not caring, not just saying it) is like breaking out of jail and smelling the fresh air for the first time in years.

Is this what hope feels like? If so, I like it

BS: Me (44)
XH: Husband (49)
Married 10 years
Two children 9 & 20 (my stepson)
D-day #1: 12/18/11
D-day #2: 8/26/12 (still in contact w/ OW)
Status: Divorced - 6/18/15

Posts: 458 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Midwest
♀ 40617
Member # 40617
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Reading this post gives us hope, hope that one day we can reach the point of not caring either.

You are explaining yourself just nicely, your message is received loud and clear. Looking forward to one day experiencing this "freeing sensation".

Good luck to you on your journey

Posts: 95 | Registered: Sep 2013
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wonderful post! It sounds like you are on the path to healing.

Posts: 50944 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 3

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