Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: sponger77 (61470)

User Topic: Too much SI?
♀ 37902
Member # 37902
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I spend A LOT of my time here on SI. SI has been invaluable to me in healing and recovery and understanding. However, I realize that over the course of the past 10 months, I have not been as productive as I should be IRL because I do spend so much time lurking on SI.

I owe my sanity to SI, but is there such a thing as too much SI? I bounce around from forum to forum trying to seek answers -- answers to questions which I may never acquire.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm on SI so much that it's unhealthy. Could I be addicted to SI?

Posts: 151 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: California
♀ 39722
Member # 39722
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know what u mean, even tho its helped me so much, I feel that I too spend way too much time here, analysing everything.

I look for answers and come up with more questions, I feel ok when I take a peep and by time im logged out, im up an running again with questions for my H ...

Me & Hubby = aged 48
Together 16 years
Married 10 years
He had 1 yr EA in chat room then 6mths EA phone/texting with same woman.
Cyber sexed with many OW in chat room for at least 1 year.

Posts: 123 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: UK
♀ 34671
Member # 34671
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes it feels like too much for me also but I don't seem to be able to stay away. At this point, I don't even know why...I'm not really getting answers to any unanswered questions. I may occasionally give some input but feel like I'm no expert. So what is the draw? It is the same with the checking up. It takes me down sometimes when I realize how much my life has changed in the last two years :(

Me - BS 58
H - WS 60/very remorseful and supportive

discovered 4 month long EA
R - slow and steady but very optimistic

Posts: 635 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
♀ 35238
Member # 35238
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand your concerns. I was off the site for a few months because it a) made me sad/envious when I saw other people in R while I was in limbo, b) made me trigger at times, and c) forced me to see things I wasn't ready to deal with.

However, I come back when I need the support or feel strong enough to offer support to others. In fact, I've been quite active here over the past couple of weeks.

This is the only place I can turn to that is filled with people who really know what I'm going through. No one is here to judge me.

I think it's healthy to vent and to connect with people who can understand your pain. As long as it doesn't take you away from your responsibilities (family, work, etc.), you're doing fine

BS: Me (44)
XH: Husband (49)
Married 10 years
Two children 9 & 20 (my stepson)
D-day #1: 12/18/11
D-day #2: 8/26/12 (still in contact w/ OW)
Status: Divorced - 6/18/15

Posts: 458 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Midwest
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, I would say I was addicted to SI.. But you have to give your IRL friends and family a break.. Even though I was constantly thinking about the infidelity, they didn't want to keep hearing it.. And no one here ever told me to shut up about it already, even if they thought it.

xBW~ 37
Two DS~ 9 and 13

Posts: 3120 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
♀ 37902
Member # 37902
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't and don't really talk about infidelity too much anymore. I just read and read and read.

Sometimes while I'm out and about, I catch myself thinking, "I'd much rather be at home and reading on SI." Or I wonder to myself, "I wonder how ____ is doing with his/her situation." Then I log onto SI before I even check my email.

I'm starting to think I am on SI too much...

Posts: 151 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: California
♀ 39801
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think we all have cycles.
There are times of high need when I am on here several times a day.
Then there may be a week or two when I don't even check in.
But it's great to have as a tool when needed.

Are you in IC? That can also be a great resource and I highly recommend it.

I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 7

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.