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Newest Member: Zhendeda (61773)

User Topic: Fake suicide threats
♀ 40991
Member # 40991
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I broke no contact with my WH today to text him a message asking him to stop harassing me & my friends, texting, ringing, fb messaging & coming round to my house. I told him that if he didn't stop I would take out an injunction against him.
He took the opportunity to try and 'make me see sense' and convince me him and his 'friend' were nothing more than mates, as usual. I stuck to my guns and simply stated I didn't believe him and didn't want any further contact with him.
I ignored 3 texts from him, as I was talking to a police officer about him keep coming up to my house and just as she was leaving I checked the messages. The last one was that he was going to kill himself and do it right this time. He's already had one close call where he went to far faking it and almost killed himself (in front of his kids) and another one where he cried wolf and when I got to his house he went mad at me.
The police woman called for back up, as he is 6ft 6 and as she described - a bit of a handful for them last time and went to his house. There he was, large as life, cooking the kids tea!
WHAT the hell am I dealing with here? Is this a sign of a personality disorder or what?

It wasn't my fault; my bucket was broken
NC = no new hurts

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: England
♀ 40787
Member # 40787
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Keep doing what you are doing - involve the police every time and ignore whatever drivel he wants to spout. You're doing good, he's just one very screwed up individual. Hope that they can remove kids eventually so they don't have to live in that either.

Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).

Posts: 273 | Registered: Sep 2013
♀ 32753
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There isn't a way to know if it's a personality disorder or if it's him trying to reassert control by saying whatever he thinks will catch your attention.

Definitely keep informing the police. If he does it again, notify them. Each instance will be documented, and there will come a time where he realizes the button doesn't work - he won't get you in person, he'll get the police each time (who will know how to respond if he is seriously suicidal), and they won't be really happy with his antics if he keeps faking.

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Keep up the NC.

Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 4242 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You absolutely need to involve the police and/or just call 911 each & every time he threatens suicide. Do not let him control you this way. BTDT, it is mindblowing cruelty.

Furthermore, if you do involve the authorities/mental health professionals every single time he threatens, then, should he ever be successful, you will be able to truthfully assert that you did everything you possibly could to prevent it.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 21183
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agreed --- Every time he pulls the Suicide Card: Notify the Police and Mental Health Authorities and let them handle it.

IF he continues to yell "sucicide" when he has the kids around: Seek a Court Order for "supervised visits only" stating: YOU DO NOT want your kids alone with him...because you don't want you kids to witness their father killing himself in front of them!!!

Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.

Posts: 6216 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: PA
♀ 40991
Member # 40991
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sorry, I forgot to mention they are HIS kids, my step-kids and as such I can have no contact with them unless he says so and you can imagine how that's panning out.

Just how do I involve mental health services? I'm in the UK btw. I'm almost certain he has a personality disorder and needs help before he harms the kids, himself or me.

It wasn't my fault; my bucket was broken
NC = no new hurts

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: England
♂ 14993
Member # 14993
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's digging his own grave, so to say.
Like the others said, involve the police and document, document, document! This will be very useful for any future legal battles between you two.
You and your kids deserve better than to deal with this.

Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.

Posts: 18247 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Further North than South
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just forward any suicide threats that he makes to you directly to the police. I'd block his number and, sorry to say, his children's numbers as well since he is using them to get to you. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10160 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 8

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