So I was reading MSN news today and there was an article talking about the new signs of domestic abuse campaign. Well I was sad to see that a lot of my H and my actions/behaviors are on there.
The 5 signs are that your partner is: isolating you from friends and family, keeping tabs on you, peer pressuring you, finding fault in everything you do, humiliating you.
keeping tabs- I read my H's emails, to see what is going on because he never tells me about stuff, it is always "[subject] is fine," but if I read his email I find out the real details. Plus since his EA I have not trusted him or what he says to my face anymore. We both read each others texts, I don't care though I have NOTHING to hide anymore nor am i bothered that he looks.
He has humiliated me on several occasions in front of others,by flirting with other women in front of me and others, calling me names, or having a laugh at my expense. No lie, one time we were having lunch with my brother and his wife and he says "SG had an abortion." with no prompting and for no reason, he laughed and my brother and his wife were like "ok thanks for the info?" I have never had an abortion he just likes to make me feel like shit.
I have told him I don't want him hanging out with certain people, like OW who was a mutual friend to us, or his sil who always excludes me and only contacts him. He on the other hand did not like my older sis, so I could not really see her anymore. He doesn't like my little sister too, but I won't budge on that, cuz I practically raised her. I will see her less but not that much less.
He had always pressured me into watching porn with him and I would get into it with him until I would find out he watched it alone, then i would toss it, or just get guilty and toss it (I dont want to be a perv). I would pressure him into going to family and friend events with me. He would go sometimes and sometimes not.
While I don't humiliate him the way he does me, I do often find a way to find fault in his choices and actions. When he pisses me off I attack his character for it. I need to work on that bad habit of berating for poor choices.
We have had smack downs, he has manhandled me and I have smacked him on the back of the head for stupid stuff, but we never physically abused each other. Well... when he found out about my PA he looked at his hand, then looked at me, then put the two together. And I threw a book at him when I found porn the very first time. BUT We respect each other physically as far as serious abuse goes.
I don't really feel like we are abusing each other, but a lot of the issues left over from A's cause what they have labeled as abusive behavior and I don't really feel like it is accurate to call us abusive, just ass holes.
him BH/WH- 31
2002/3 (him) EA
Tog. 14 yrs, Marr. 13 and counting!