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Newest Member: W2MNL (46024)

User Topic: I should be happy but I'm having a hissy fit
sodamnlost
♀ 37190
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH's lack of genuine remorse and refusal to own what he did has him moving out in 2 weeks and 3 days, a week after that the judge will officially call time of death on my marriage. I am NOT in a good place financially, I have almost lost my business a few times since Dday. To say I had no coping skills is an understatement.

Today I landed a large contract, paid in full, upfront. At least 2 full months of my household bills will be covered. This is the second largest contract I have signed. I should be jumping through the roof right? Well, I'm NOT.

I WANT my Husband to mean it when he says he wants us, I WANT him to mean it when he says he loves me, I WANT him to just own why he did so we can have our family back. I WANT to plan a vacation with him with the money. I WANT to maybe get a newer car. I WANT the man I married back. Clearly none of that is going to happen.

I can breathe easier thanks to my new client and I am too busy having a hissy fit that is actually my life. How do I stop being a spoiled brat and be grateful for this blessing instead of having a hissy fit? I hate this person I am right now.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can completely relate to what you're feeling.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. It's ok to be angry right now - it won't always be like this. The fact that you have a peripheral awareness of the good things means that you will be able to feel their effects sooner than later.

(((sdl)))


"Welcome the rawness of vulnerability as an opportunity to open." - Pema Chodron

Posts: 18673 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
laney57
♀ 35617
Member # 35617
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sodamnlost,
Hugs and strength. I so know how you feel, because I go through the same every few weeks. The end is near and we ask ourselves "that's all I wanted is my family?? And a little remorse". Nope, it never happened (well maybe 3 months). Keep reading, it does give me much strength seeing that others are making it!


Update 09/28/14
Me - BS, 44
Him - WH, 46
Married - 23 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me still
Gotta do this, but I'm broken - headed for divorce - 02/20
Hell if I know - 02/24
Divorcing 09/28/14

Posts: 230 | Registered: May 2012 | From: KY
Topic Posts: 3

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