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Divorce/Separation :
I should be happy but I'm having a hissy fit

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 sodamnlost (original poster member #37190) posted at 11:48 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

WH's lack of genuine remorse and refusal to own what he did has him moving out in 2 weeks and 3 days, a week after that the judge will officially call time of death on my marriage. I am NOT in a good place financially, I have almost lost my business a few times since Dday. To say I had no coping skills is an understatement.

Today I landed a large contract, paid in full, upfront. At least 2 full months of my household bills will be covered. This is the second largest contract I have signed. I should be jumping through the roof right? Well, I'm NOT.

I WANT my Husband to mean it when he says he wants us, I WANT him to mean it when he says he loves me, I WANT him to just own why he did so we can have our family back. I WANT to plan a vacation with him with the money. I WANT to maybe get a newer car. I WANT the man I married back. Clearly none of that is going to happen.

I can breathe easier thanks to my new client and I am too busy having a hissy fit that is actually my life. How do I stop being a spoiled brat and be grateful for this blessing instead of having a hissy fit? I hate this person I am right now.

Me - BS original Dday 10-2012, separated June 2014, divorce Fall 2016


Grief, loss and pain taunt her - "you will never be the same." Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, she rises and spreads her new wings as she brushes off the ashes an

posts: 772   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2012   ·   location: Out of the ashes
id 6533482
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 11:51 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

I can completely relate to what you're feeling.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. It's ok to be angry right now - it won't always be like this. The fact that you have a peripheral awareness of the good things means that you will be able to feel their effects sooner than later.

(((sdl)))

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6533487
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laney57 ( member #35617) posted at 12:51 AM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013

Sodamnlost,

Hugs and strength. I so know how you feel, because I go through the same every few weeks. The end is near and we ask ourselves "that's all I wanted is my family?? And a little remorse". Nope, it never happened (well maybe 3 months). Keep reading, it does give me much strength seeing that others are making it!

Update 01/21/17
Me - BS, 46
Him - WH, 48
Married - 23 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me still
Separated 03/2014 (he moved out of state for job)
Tried and tried and failed long distance 09/2015
Have no idea

posts: 236   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2012   ·   location: KY
id 6533579
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