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I should be happy but I'm having a hissy fit

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sodamnlost posted 10/22/2013 17:48 PM

WH's lack of genuine remorse and refusal to own what he did has him moving out in 2 weeks and 3 days, a week after that the judge will officially call time of death on my marriage. I am NOT in a good place financially, I have almost lost my business a few times since Dday. To say I had no coping skills is an understatement.

Today I landed a large contract, paid in full, upfront. At least 2 full months of my household bills will be covered. This is the second largest contract I have signed. I should be jumping through the roof right? Well, I'm NOT.

I WANT my Husband to mean it when he says he wants us, I WANT him to mean it when he says he loves me, I WANT him to just own why he did so we can have our family back. I WANT to plan a vacation with him with the money. I WANT to maybe get a newer car. I WANT the man I married back. Clearly none of that is going to happen.

I can breathe easier thanks to my new client and I am too busy having a hissy fit that is actually my life. How do I stop being a spoiled brat and be grateful for this blessing instead of having a hissy fit? I hate this person I am right now.

Jrazz posted 10/22/2013 17:51 PM

I can completely relate to what you're feeling.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. It's ok to be angry right now - it won't always be like this. The fact that you have a peripheral awareness of the good things means that you will be able to feel their effects sooner than later.

(((sdl)))

laney57 posted 10/22/2013 18:51 PM

Sodamnlost,
Hugs and strength. I so know how you feel, because I go through the same every few weeks. The end is near and we ask ourselves "that's all I wanted is my family?? And a little remorse". Nope, it never happened (well maybe 3 months). Keep reading, it does give me much strength seeing that others are making it!

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