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Topic: Give me strength...

befuzzled110
♀ 35787
Member # 35787

Posted: 7:28 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013

I have what I need to take the next step. He's talking to people from Craigslist again. I grabbed a number from the online account and it's not from anyone we "should" know. It's no one he works with. So...Please send prayers and strength this way. I am going to try and hold out until tomorrow when the kids go to school...but I don't know if I can make it that long. I am shaking, my hands are cold, and my heart is beating a mile a minute, not to mention the urge to throw up. And the wanting to cry my eyes out. What a selfish ass.

Me: 37 and awesome
Him: 42 and not so awesome
OW1: 47 and desperate OW2: 34, freshly divorced, was once my friend OW3: is OW1 who took in WH during seperation.

Posts: 205 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Michigan

LosferWords
♂ 30369
Member # 30369

Posted: 7:31 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013

(((befuzzled110)))

I'm so sorry...

Sending you strength and prayers. We're here for you.

Posts: 30430 | Registered: Dec 2010

SurelyNOT
♀ 40617
Member # 40617

Posted: 7:36 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013

Hope you can find the strength to get through this. Sorry I don't have the answers, if only I had a magic wand!!! This is such a struggle, all encompassing and painful.
(((Hugs))) prayers and best wishes to you on your journey.

Posts: 95 | Registered: Sep 2013

5454real
♂ 37455
Member # 37455

Posted: 7:40 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013

sending not only strength, but mojo and prayers.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

BH 53, WW 45
DS 25(Mine),SD 24,SS 23(Hers),DS 12 Ours, DGS 6, DGD 2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 5176 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest

Truly
♀ 40715
Member # 40715

Posted: 7:40 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013

Oh crap.

So sorry. Keep holding on. You're doing brilliantly.
Look up at the ceiling and blink rapidly (helps halt the tears).

Good luck ((((befuzzled))))

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens

Posts: 266 | Registered: Sep 2013

befuzzled110
♀ 35787
Member # 35787

Posted: 7:58 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013

Never mind..Well, not never mind...Just couldn't wait until tomorrow. The thought of him thinking he was getting lucky tonight and the acid turning in my stomach is too much. I just confronted. He didn't deny shit. Just looks miserable. I am so flipping angry right now...

Me: 37 and awesome
Him: 42 and not so awesome
OW1: 47 and desperate OW2: 34, freshly divorced, was once my friend OW3: is OW1 who took in WH during seperation.

Posts: 205 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Michigan

nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226

Posted: 8:17 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013

((((befuzzled)))) Sending you strength and comfort, honey.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40111 | Registered: Aug 2011

Truly
♀ 40715
Member # 40715

Posted: 8:20 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013

I bet you're angry right now. I can hear tacks hitting the walls from here!

And now he looks miserable? Poor little diddums. Choices. Choices and boundaries. Bloomin' idiot!
He didn't get lucky enough to realise the gift you offered him was priceless

Stay strong, befuzzled

And yes, you are allowed to be angry!!!!

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens

Posts: 266 | Registered: Sep 2013

throughthetunnel
♀ 41082
Member # 41082

Posted: 9:57 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013

I am so sorry. Prayers!

Posts: 7 | Registered: Oct 2013

surviving1963
♀ 40393
Member # 40393

Posted: 10:06 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013

On your terms from now on. Sending strength your way!

Me: 51
WH: 51 pro cake-eater, NPD, SA
Married almost 34 years
D-Days 3-4-12, 8-19-12 (EA, probably PA)porn,ashleymadison, etc, etc
4 sons, 3 daughters
8 grandkids
Divorcing - finally

Posts: 149 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Utah

befuzzled110
♀ 35787
Member # 35787

Posted: 6:27 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday), 2013

Well, let's see.. I threw the book "How to Help your spouse heal from your affair" at him. No- he has never read it, as he was never approachable to give it to. He picked it up and read chapter one right away. I handed him my ring and said I don't want to wear it. I told him that he will hand over his phone every day. He will give me back the computer. I told him I am done. I am ready to walk and he freaked out- not to stop me, but started to realize (maybe) that he has F-U-B-A-R-ed(fu**ed up beyond any repair), big time. I am at my wits end. At the same time, I just want to crawl under the sheets and hide. I am so exhausted emotionally. Can anyone hear me screaming from where they are??? Lol...

Me: 37 and awesome
Him: 42 and not so awesome
OW1: 47 and desperate OW2: 34, freshly divorced, was once my friend OW3: is OW1 who took in WH during seperation.

Posts: 205 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Michigan

devasted30
♀ 39439
Member # 39439

Posted: 6:57 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday), 2013

Okay (gently, very gently) maybe it's time to put your bitch boots on and start walking.
I am so sorry you are back to the beginning again.
Many hugs to you and hoping you find the strength to get thru this.

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

Posts: 1862 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada

Topic Posts: 12

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