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cyrene (original poster new member #41085) posted at 1:37 AM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013
im new to this, ive recently found out my husband has been seeing someone, this someone turned out to be my daughter!i feel so sick.there is more to this that i do not have time for here, but i feel so unwell and he now has me sleeping in other room. i am disabled and feel trapped. my daughter comes to home often to see her daughter she has a right to this. please help im finding the situation intolerable! I would be grateful for any support x
Truly ( member #40715) posted at 1:50 AM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013
I'm so sorry you're here and for your obvious pain.
When you're ready, post more explaining your situation and the amazing people on SI will offer tremendous advice and listening ears.
Huge hugs ((((((cyrene)))))
There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 5:44 AM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013
That sounds incredibly hard to deal with - I'm so sorry. So you are raising your granddaughter? Have you confronted your husband or daughter. I'm not sure that your condition is but I would think that you could at least appeal to your own flesh and blood to be decent.
Tell us more about what is happening. We're here for you.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
Secrets Kept ( member #40630) posted at 5:50 AM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013
Cyrene,
We are most definitely here for you & want to help but I have to agree with Truly that we need some more info.
Is this his step-daughter?
I take it you are raising her daughter?
You say you are disabled & he is now making you sleep elsewhere?
How old is your daughter & WH?
Etc etc etc
Please keep posting. There are MANY great people here who have GREAT advice. Trust me.....follow it cuz they are right.
Many hugs to you.
"All this time I was finding myself & I didn't know I was lost"
SerJR ( member #14993) posted at 10:12 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013
Welcome here cyrene...
It's bad enough to deal with the betrayal of a spouse, and even more difficult when other family members are involved.
The best thing you can do right now is to focus on yourself and taking care of your health. Please see a counselor and a doctor to ensure that you have professional support. A consult with a lawyer to find out what rights and options are available is always a good idea too. I also encourage reading through the Healing Library to absorb as much information as possible.
You have a right to find this situation intolerable. This situation is incredibly selfish and destructive. You do deserve better. You have to start thinking about what your needs and boundaries are, and at what point you are willing to walk away from the insanity. Please keep posting - you can count on our support.
Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.
cyrene (original poster new member #41085) posted at 1:24 AM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
thank you for your replies, yes she is my h stepdaughter and her 3yr old daughter my granddaughter has been with us over a year now, because she was not looking after her properly.my daughter is my only child and she is very difficult to get on with,she has a anger problem, lies constantly and steals from me. i brought her up on my own,and she has broken my heart many times.my h is 7 yrs younger than me at 35 and my daughter is 24.I found out about them when she left her face book page open.i wish i had never looked now,but i had such strong suspictions , my daughter is very beautiful and tall.one message he said "when your mums carrer comes to take her out i will come round.! he said he had been saddled with a disabled wife, i have had to deal with having to use power chair because walking has become very hard, (i have ms) i have be using a chair since last summer. I tried so hard to not put on weight always on a diet this last year make myself look the best i can, he treats me like his mother now has been for long time. I have put up with this for my grandaughter i love her so much!she is the only thing i am living for at the moment but i cant do the things he can with her, and i think he has taken advantage of that.he bought my daughter flowers recently i found receipt and also asks her how she is feeling every day and says goodnight to her he never says that to me eithier. reading that made me sick like some one had hit me.my daughter come round whenever she feels like it, and is now having another baby by some one else, i dont think it is his because he has shown such jealousy against her very brief boy friend! i saw texts ranting at him. sorry i seem to have ranted on. i have no family near by only a brother who lives 200 miles away, and cant keep this in any more! than you so much for replying to me x
devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 1:53 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
OMG cyrene - I am so sorry.
I wish I could give you some advise, but your situation is one of the worst ones I have ever read about and I, honestly, am not qualified to help.
All I can offer you is an ear to listen and let you know that you are not alone in your pain.
I hope you are practising the 180 on your WS and seeking help from IC and seeing a lawyer to find out what you can do to protect yourself and your granddaughter.
Please keep us updated and know that we care and you are not alone.
[This message edited by devasted30 at 7:53 AM, October 24th (Thursday)]
And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!
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