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Well that could have gone worse

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maddmurph posted 10/22/2013 21:09 PM

I explained I needed full disclosure about the A and full transparency going forward. She said it didn't matter because I would never trust her again. I said I won't if she won't be honest with me. She threatened to leave. I said fine. She then said she needed time to figure out how to tell me. I said I'm not waiting forever. Then i said get tested. She said no. I said we are done then. Then she went off about kissing my ass and I'm cold to her. Just trying to draw me into a fight. I said I'm not doing this forever. You either come back and rebuild a better relationship or not. She didn't say anything. So I said I gotta walk the dog.

Ascendant posted 10/22/2013 21:10 PM

Good job on standing your ground.

h0peless posted 10/22/2013 21:22 PM

I'm proud of you, madmurph. I wish I had showed the strength you're showing right after dday.

maddmurph posted 10/22/2013 21:33 PM

And she is downstairs crying and screaming.

iwillNOT posted 10/22/2013 21:37 PM

Let her cry and scream. Be calm, or leave for a bit if you need to. Don't get sucked in to the manipulation. Don't give in, don't engage.

(((strength)))

maddmurph posted 10/22/2013 22:28 PM

So I went down. Told her if she wants to talk I'm upstairs.

She comes up and goes on about how she hates herself and she is a terrible mom and she just needs a hug but the person who loves her the most won't. Then storms off. So I go downstairs and explain that I haven't been allowed to touch her so she has to ask for a hug. Hold her for a bit on the couch. She says she isn't happy, wants to be, wants to look at me and feel love but can't. I said you need counseling. She doesn't want to talk. I said I wont reject you and I want to trust you but it has to happen on my terms. So good night.

karmahappens posted 10/22/2013 22:46 PM

She comes up and goes on about how she hates herself and she is a terrible mom and she just needs a hug but the person who loves her the most won't.

AKA look at poor me, feel bad for me.

She definitely needs IC, stick to your guns. She hasn't even begun to think about the pain she has caused you. Everything is still about her...

Hoping she gets it, such a waste when they don't!

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