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Dark Inertia posted 10/22/2013 21:46 PM

Just dread the holidays sometimes? I get sooo bogged down with gifts, money, parties, work, driving out of state, food, etc. I want to enjoy the winter season (my favorite time of year) but I end up just completely stressed. Now Oct is flying by, and we have to start planning for gifts and such. This year has gone by so fast.

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 9:46 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)]

fireproof posted 10/22/2013 22:04 PM

I used to love the holidays but after my divorce the thought of sending out cards made me .

I have found gift cards to restaurants, amazon, or the same general gift to multiple people helps me.

Enjoyment is key and whatever you need to do that is the Christmas spirit!

miadianna posted 10/22/2013 22:14 PM

I think it depends on what stage of your life you are in and your obligations. My kids are now grown and nobody in my family exchanges gifts, we just get together at my brother's house on Christmas Day. I'm alone on Christmas Eve and love it. That's all I have to do for Christmas now. I don't go to parties, don't send cards anymore, don't have to buy gifts for anyone, so after divorce and raising my children I can just enjoy the season. I really enjoy just seeing my family and spending the whole day with them and that's our holiday.

It's very spontaneous and kind of fun now. We might go ice skating or take the train downtown to see the Christmas lights. Every year is different.

Hugs to you, I remember how stressful it used to be. It's no fun like that. Do you have to do everything? Are there some things you can say "no" to? You don't have to be everything to everyone. I've had to learn how to say "no" when overwhelmed.

Sad in AZ posted 10/23/2013 08:28 AM

Something that a lot of people forget is that they are adults and get to make their own rules--and fun. Just as in other areas of this board, it stops when you say it stops.

My suggestion (and please take this as nicely as possible, not the way it sounds ) is: Grow a pair. Do what YOU want for the holidays. Of course, honoring others and doing good deeds will also make you feel good, so I'm not telling to discount the feelings of others. Honor the traditions that make you feel good, don't do what makes you frazzled and start some new traditions. It's good for the soul.

lynnm1947 posted 10/23/2013 09:31 AM

It also helps if you buy gifts throughout the year instead of concentrating your buying in the couple of months (weeks?) before Christmas. When my kids were young, my daughter used to say, "Mum starts buying for Christmas on Boxing Day (the day after Christmas here in Canada)." Of course, buying so early, I'd often forget what I'd bought, so the kids ended up getting many more gifts than they should have--or I'd be cleaning a closet in June and discover the gift I should have given my son for the Christmas before!

Old habits die hard, though, and I still shop early. Then I make a point of going to the mall on Christmas Eve, just to look around--happy as a clam to not be rushing to buy.

DS, if you are reading this, I have bought the cutest Hello, Kitty necklace and earrings for GD5!

simplydevastated posted 10/23/2013 09:40 AM

I love the holiday's. When I was working I would shop throughout the year and be finished and wrapped by September. This way I get the pick of what's out there and sales are still good. There's no crazy lines and I can relax during the season. The only thing I ended up stressing about is stocking stuffers. That's it. Once I'm back to work I plan on going back to doing things this way.

GraceisGood posted 10/23/2013 10:19 AM

I have slowly lowered the bar about the holidays over the years (and D-day kind of speeded up that drop too)and I find that this year I am looking forward to it because there are very few "requirements".

Getting rid of the requirements has created freedom to do what we want, how and when we want, and taken away the guilt and pressure if I am unable to meet all the expectations. I already failed as far as everyone else is concerned, no one to disappoint anymore, can only go up right?

But we each must find what works for us. I did not "drop the ball" purposefully, it kind of happened slowly but I am grateful it did even though it was really hard for a few years to live with the reality of what I could really do vs the expectations I had for myself as well as those others had of me.

May we all find our joy this season in whatever fashion that ends up being.

Grace

purplejacket4 posted 10/23/2013 11:06 AM

I would just like to be able to put up some damn decorations without having to worry that my 90 lb lab will destroy them.

Deeply Scared posted 10/23/2013 11:43 AM

Dark...

MH and I love the holidays...it's our favorite time of year. Growing up, Christmas was always a joyful and loving time...I have excellent memories

MH and I shop throughout the year for gifts. If we see something at a festival or a good sale is happening, we'll think of a particular person and buy it then. I keep all the purchased items in our guestroom so I always know what we've already purchased.

Thanksgiving weekend is the weekend I do all the wrapping. By the end of the weekend its all done, including shipping boxes and labeling. At that point, that's when I know I can thoroughly enjoy the rest of the season without running around like a maniac...lol!!

I believe that being organized and doing shopping in advance, a little at a time not only cuts done on a huge bill but also removes the stress.

I hope you can enjoy the season...do what works best for you

jo2love posted 10/23/2013 12:33 PM

I love the holidays, but it gets stressful. Between November & December there are 4 birthdays, 1 anniversary, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the anniversary of a siblings death. I started a little bit of shopping last month. Hopefully, it makes it easier and less rushed. Chocolate helps.

Dark Inertia posted 10/23/2013 19:38 PM

Well I think part of what is stressing me about this year is: it is the anniversary of Sister in law's baby's death (stillborn at 9 months). It will also be the first year without his grandmother, who died a month ago. I also miss my own mother and brother terribly, but do not have the finances to visit for Xmas. Top that with the normal holiday stress, just not something I am excited about. So depression all around :(

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 7:39 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)]

Bobbi_sue posted 10/24/2013 08:27 AM

No.
The holidays are the only thing I look forward to in winter. I hate the cold weather and snow. And oh it is snowing outside my window right now.

Clarrissa posted 10/24/2013 20:32 PM

I don't really dread the holidays, I'm more indifferent to them than anything. I learned a *long* time ago that if I wanted something for Christmas, I'd better buy it for myself. I absolutely *hate* the question "What do you want for Christmas?" because it's been my experience that the asker has either already gotten me something or will ignore my suggestion and get me what they want to.
Also both my parents died around the holidays - my dad a couple weeks after Christmas and my mother just days before Thanksgiving. I do look forward to this time of year however since three of my grandkids have birthdays in the next few weeks.

[This message edited by Clarrissa at 8:33 PM, October 24th (Thursday)]

jo2love posted 10/24/2013 20:41 PM

(((Dark)))

risingfromashes posted 10/24/2013 23:04 PM

I have always loved the holidays. It is a magical time of year. Would not mind if on January 3rd the temp suddenly rose by 30 degrees!

My birthday is 12/24 so I have an attachment to Christmas. This will be my dd's first Christmas in the downsized new house. I am going to find a way to kick the decorations up a notch and make this special!

risingfromashes posted 10/24/2013 23:04 PM

I have always loved the holidays. It is a magical time of year. Would not mind if on January 3rd the temp suddenly rose by 30 degrees!

My birthday is 12/24 so I have an attachment to Christmas. This will be my dd's first Christmas in the downsized new house. I am going to find a way to kick the decorations up a notch and make this special!

Bikingguy posted 10/25/2013 07:51 AM

We say "Holidays" but as far as the merchants go there is only one - Christmas. We were in Kohl's last weekend and they already had the store decked out with xmas decorations. It was 85F outside! Kinda hard to get into the xmas season, especially since it is only October!

FaithFool posted 10/25/2013 08:28 AM

I opted out of gifting years ago, after too many times of hearing "did you keep the receipt?".

I tell folks I have everything I could ever need, and if I can't eat it, drink it or smoke it, I don't want it.

If I'm going to a party or dinner or something I'll bring wine or candles.

So no malls, gift wrap, cards or stressing over deadlines.

I just treat myself to dinners out or really nice meals at home, have candles and classical music, snuggle up with a nice glass of wine and enjoy quality time with my handful of amazing friends.

Call me a curmudgeon but it does make things pretty stress free in FFs world.

sadtoo posted 10/27/2013 14:36 PM

I love the holidays. They are what you make them. Or what you allow others to make them into.

*Back to decorating!*
(58 days til Christmas!!!)

Mrs. Griswald

[This message edited by sadtoo at 2:38 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]

BrokenRoad posted 10/27/2013 20:52 PM

I get a mixture of both excitement and mild dread - excitement about all the fun baking, looking forward to the kids opening gifts, etc.
But too, I get tired thinking of hauling stuff and ourselves to relatives houses, holiday packaging, new toys to fit in the house,etc.