Me: BH, 36
Perhaps its not a good reason to abandon the marriage??? Is this what I agreed to on the wedding day???
No, it isn't. See... you didn't have all of the information when you got married. Those vows, they are great, but if someone had whispered in your ear on your wedding day and said:
"I just traveled back in time from the future. Your soon to be husband will turn into a moody, withdrawn, angry person who is no fun to be around. Oh, and he's going to cheat on you, too."
Would you have even gone through with the wedding?
For me, the "for better or worse" thing is about things that you can't control in the marriage, like your spouse getting cancer or a child dying in a car accident, or losing the house to a fire, those kinds of things. It doesn't include things where one spouse purposely hurts the other, and an A hurts more than just about any other thing I can think of.
And yes, people change. Their needs change. Their attitudes change. And their relationships change. That is just going to happen. Not much that you can do about that piece.
I believe in my vows. I honor them.
So do I. I honor them by being faithful. I honor them by being the best husband and father I can be. But your H didn't. He broke his. He didn't uphold his end of the bargain. Marriage is a contract, an agreement between two people. It has certain rules, vows, to be upheld. When they are broken, then the agreement is broken with it.
Do not think of it as 'abandoning' the marriage. He did that. Not you. He broke his vows. Not you. Perhaps you are just taking a broken contract to it's rightful conclusion.
That being said, just because the 1st contract was broken, doesn't mean you can't write another one. Just make sure you go into it with your eyes wide open.
Her: WW, 37
Two girls 8 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009
She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.