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Houseguests- talk me off of the ledge please!

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sunandmoon posted 10/23/2013 15:09 PM

Ok. I'm going to say it. I like order. I plan. I make lists. Yup.

I have houseguests. Five to be exact. For more than a week (don't ask how- not as was planned).

Every day is chaos. I am working. Kids have school. Test. Meetings. Schedules.

I cannot get a simple answer- will you be at the house for dinner? If so, by what time.

And on a slight switch of directions...

When you are a houseguest do you:

make your own bed?

make the bed for your children if they are too young to do so themselves?

wash dishes/place dishes in the dishwasher?

offer to help with meal prep/clean-up?

keep you "room" tidy, pick up after yourself in rooms you use...

I know I sound like a raving control freak. I know. I have five more days to go.

Help??!!

sunandmoon

jemimapd posted 10/23/2013 15:18 PM

In answer to your question, not if you are my brother-in-law.

In his case you arrive empty-handed, eat everything in sight, fail to raise a finger and correct your hostess on her grammar.......

Deeply Scared posted 10/23/2013 15:21 PM

When my best friend comes to visit...she never keeps her room picked up but at least she keeps the door closed

She *always* helps with dishes, cooking and overall anything she can help with. And at the end of her visit, she always strips her bed down and put the sheets and her towels in the laundry room for me

The only other thing she never does is empty the ashtray on the patio

sunandmoon posted 10/23/2013 15:26 PM

In answer to your question, not if you are my brother-in-law.
In his case you arrive empty-handed, eat everything in sight, fail to raise a finger and correct your hostess on her grammar.......


THIS^^^^^^^^^

5X

nowiknow23 posted 10/23/2013 16:15 PM

Oh my. This is not a case of being a control freak, raving or not. These are poor guests. Really poor guests.

Would it work to say, "We eat at 6. If that doesn't work for you, you'll have to make your own arrangements for dinner. There's peanut butter in the pantry." ??? In other words, keep your schedule. They need to adapt to it, not the other way around.

((((sunandmoon)))) Sending you a giant supply of strength and patience.

tryingagain74 posted 10/23/2013 16:56 PM

When you are a houseguest do you:

make your own bed?

Absolutely.

make the bed for your children if they are too young to do so themselves?

You bet.

wash dishes/place dishes in the dishwasher?

Yes-- XMIL cooked, so XWH and I (when we were still together) would do dishes.

offer to help with meal prep/clean-up?

Always. When we were on our beach vacations in a rental, I was the "head chef" a couple of nights.

keep you "room" tidy, pick up after yourself in rooms you use...

If we were in a rental, then I might not keep the bedroom spotless. When we'd visit the XILs house, we slept in their den, so that room was always restored to its regular appearance for daily use. I never left my things in other rooms, either. I kept my personal items in the bedroom and cleaned up after myself in other rooms.

You're not a control freak. It sounds like you're dealing with entitled folk who are used to being picked up after. That's rude, and you have every right to expect them to help out since you're extending hospitality. If they want to act like pigs, then they should go get a hotel room where someone is hired to clean up after them.

Must Survive posted 10/23/2013 16:58 PM

When (very rarely) I am a houseguest I try to make my host's life easier. Meals out, pick up after myself, etc. And my family is the same way. You have 5 more days. You need to explain to your guests how you need help and see what they are willing to do. You are not a hotel!

tushnurse posted 10/23/2013 17:43 PM

It sounds as though they are clueless and don't mind living in squalor. So let them. Make a giant pot of chilli. Easy to warm up easy to clean up. Don't worry about the house, stay in your own space. Get some alcohol too.
Basically ignore them.

((( and strength)))

Rebreather posted 10/23/2013 17:52 PM

Get some alcohol too.

I'm headed right over to Tushie's house!

dameia posted 10/23/2013 19:15 PM

I do all of those and more when I am a houseguest. It's common courtesy!

"We eat at 6. If that doesn't work for you, you'll have to make your own arrangements for dinner. There's peanut butter in the pantry."

^^^This is what I say to my cousins who come to visit every spring break. It used to drive me crazy, because they only operated on their own schedule, were always late, really just nightmares. So I finally told them, "We eat at 6. If you're not here, then you're welcome to the leftovers, if we have any. Otherwise help yourself to what's in the pantry." Now they show up for dinner (although they are usually 15 minutes late, but for them that's the best you can hope for!)

FaithFool posted 10/23/2013 19:19 PM

I make the bed, help with dishes and meal prep, and buy high quality steaks and lots of wine and beer.

My mom always said guests and fish stink after three days.

My BFFs are allowed to stay longer because I love them.

jrc1963 posted 10/23/2013 19:24 PM

When my mom would visit she would say "I'm the guest" and then plop.

She no longer visits.

sunandmoon posted 10/24/2013 08:52 AM

First off- thanks for the support all- you ROCK.

A tough night. Their Little ones up. My kids up. I've been awake since 2:00 ( i don;t sleep well when I am stressed).

I feel like it's so obvious. We have turned our home inside out and upside down just to have them stay- my kids both lost their rooms and are sleeping on air mattresses.

I resolved myself to focus that I am on the "downslope" as there are four more days to go....

I can tell you this- when I am visiting my sister over the Holidays I will be beyond consciencious- we really are in the first place.

sunandmoon

cissie posted 10/24/2013 09:11 AM

I have had a lot of house guests in recent years and I now do the following:
I never go in the rooms they are using. Keep the doors shut.
I pickup anything they leave around the house and put it outside their room.
I say we eat at 6, will you be here. I try to make food that can be stretched - pasta, stews, curries or roasts.
For breakfast there is coffee, juice, cereal, toast, frozen waffles/pancakes or bagels - help yourself.
I ask them to put their own dishes in the dishwasher at breakfast. I will generally deal with dinner.
I will vacuum the rest of the house,but not their room(s).
I give them their own towels, but the bathroom sharing is one of the more difficult problems.

Good luck with the countdown.

amitheow posted 10/24/2013 09:49 AM

My in laws live three hours away when they come they come for a LONG TIME -- it's not like we're states and states away. We live in the same state. They just like to stay forever. His mom sleeps ALL day and is up ALL night .. his dad takes over the thermostat and the TV. We both end up in our bedroom with the door shut reading the paper, with our dog, watching a teeny tiny TV.

It's a nightmare. I dread their visits. They came last Christmas and stayed TEN DAYS.

sunandmoon posted 10/27/2013 07:38 AM

Ultimate ending to this: I broke my foot.

sunandmoon

jjct posted 10/27/2013 08:23 AM

Gahh! You weren't supposed to kick their asses!

(((sunandmoon & foot)))

somanyyears posted 10/27/2013 08:36 AM


..

..if they are treating your home like a hotel, then $200.00 per night sounds about right..

..that would include a 'Continental breakfast' of course!!!

..taxes and gratuity not included..

smy

nowiknow23 posted 10/27/2013 10:03 AM

(((((sunandmoon)))))

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