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Had written out a REALLY long post detailing an interaction with WH that went very bad pretty quickly. I feel like we have the same conversation over and over but I don't see the effort I'm looking for. I finally got SO frustrated I ran into the bathroom, slammed the door and threw everything I could get my hands on!! I ended up curled up in a ball in the tub sobbing my face off.

I don't have a point to this post other than to say for any of you holding in your frustration/anger, it's probably better to let it out if you don't want to end up a crying mess trying to clean lotion off the wall and glass off the floor while snot is running down your face

AML- oh I feel your pain. And your image at the end made me chuckle- not at your pain but at how I can relate. I broke on the living room couch at three am screaming and crying into my poor cats fur like she was my teddy bear when i was 5. She was very good about it. Meowed at me and walked to the other side of the couch.
I completely lost it.
He came out and said "you don't have to sleep on the couch."

Seriously? I have a complete mental breakdown and youre worried about me sleeping in the couch?!?

I hate those. But I'm proud of you- you let it out. Didn't realize how much you were holding in huh? Yes, I have been there. It does get better.

(((((AML)))))

Thanks WT :)

You can definitely chuckle because I'm sure it was a sight to behold!! I've done that with my cats too

The end result is almost funnier (not in haha way). He had come in and tried to comfort me but still felt like he wasn't getting it. He then had to go check on our son which was when I started cleaning. I calmed myself enough to go out into the kitchen and he's sitting on the floor crying, holding our s. He gets up, apologizes, says he sees he's not doing enough and I end up comforting him!!! It's weird but sometimes seeing him breakdown calms me. Is that weird??

I had my first all out anger, sobbing, "creative expression" explosion on Saturday.

I felt so good after, made me realize how much I had been holding in. Now I am going to try to get it out when I feel it instead of letting build up into an explosion.

But my God! What a feeling of relief to get that out!

It really was!!! I felt like a crazy person but God was it cathartic!

Been here. Done this. A lot.

How are you feeling today, AML?

I feel better but I can still feel the frustration lurking. WH and I have talked more and he says he understands and will work at giving me what I need but right now it's an I'll believe it when I see of type of thing. I'm hopeful though, I always am.

Thank you so much for checking in on me.

(((Topper)))

Hell yes, done this 3 times so far. Once to my H (not good, not proud, was a huge setback) and twice safely with inanimate objects. I smashed up my sons' plastic toolbox with a sledgehammer after a very challenging conversation. Felt like a million bucks. I even smiled a little as I picked up the pieces.

Considering a baseball bat and a tree for the next time.

For real.

I think the common theme here is ... We felt better afterwards.
Even if only temporarily.
We all try to be so adult and calm about things.
It makes me laugh how much we are struggling to make sure WE seem sane.
This is one example of a situation where a person should be allowed to go crazy.
Im glad you're feeling better though :) hugs to you!

Right??? This is crazy-making stuff!!

I might try the baseball bat and the tree :)

WH has a drum set I could bang away on but I'm afraid if I was too angry if trash it. I went through a lot if trouble getting that for him while I was pregnant so I'm better off staying away.

I had a few of those experiences. They are pretty brutal. One time I kind of "blacked out" and found myself curled in a ball on the floor of my closet. Ugh.

Be kind to yourself today. Might be time for a mani or facial!

That sounds awesome!

The mani/facial not the curled up in a ball on the floor the closet ((Rebreather))