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Feeling misery as divorce nears finality

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Tripletrouble posted 10/23/2013 21:10 PM

I am curious if this is a "normal" reaction, given that none of this should fall under anyone's definition of Normal. My D is fast by most standards. About 8 weeks from when I made up my mind until it will be final, which is about two weeks from now. But as the days go by and I let go of the mindset of R, all the hurt and anger are growing almost to the level of post D day. I lost my composure at my desk yesterday for the first time in months. I think it is because I am no longer lying to myself and can just see the horror in its full light. No rug sweeping or minimizing, just the big ugly truth. And I am eating the yucky bites of the elephant.

FaithFool posted 10/23/2013 21:23 PM

My divorce took a long time, and I think that time was a buffer for my emotions because I had processed so much by then that the actual paper arriving in the mail was just a bittersweet moment (the day after Christmas no less).

A fast track D is much more traumatizing, you are still processing the main event as well as the evaporation of your life as you knew it.

The good thing is that a new life awaits.

Big hugs. It gets better.

Nature_Girl posted 10/23/2013 22:00 PM

I would think your head would be near exploding by this point! (((HUGS)))

If it makes you feel any better, I got notice a couple weeks ago that my 1.5 year long contentious D would be final in a month or so. I WANT this divorce. I had no hope of R. He's an abusive bastard. And yet despite that, when I got the notice that we were in the very final stretch, when I saw those words I almost lost control of my bowels. Totally took me by surprise. I thought I would have jumped for joy. Instead I was clamping 'em shut to keep from messing myself.

You just don't know HOW you're going to react until you're in the middle of doing it.

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