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Newest Member: jaxonraine (61774)

User Topic: Feeling misery as divorce nears finality
♀ 39169
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am curious if this is a "normal" reaction, given that none of this should fall under anyone's definition of Normal. My D is fast by most standards. About 8 weeks from when I made up my mind until it will be final, which is about two weeks from now. But as the days go by and I let go of the mindset of R, all the hurt and anger are growing almost to the level of post D day. I lost my composure at my desk yesterday for the first time in months. I think it is because I am no longer lying to myself and can just see the horror in its full light. No rug sweeping or minimizing, just the big ugly truth. And I am eating the yucky bites of the elephant.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.

Posts: 984 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My divorce took a long time, and I think that time was a buffer for my emotions because I had processed so much by then that the actual paper arriving in the mail was just a bittersweet moment (the day after Christmas no less).

A fast track D is much more traumatizing, you are still processing the main event as well as the evaporation of your life as you knew it.

The good thing is that a new life awaits.

Big hugs. It gets better.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 20720 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would think your head would be near exploding by this point! (((HUGS)))

If it makes you feel any better, I got notice a couple weeks ago that my 1.5 year long contentious D would be final in a month or so. I WANT this divorce. I had no hope of R. He's an abusive bastard. And yet despite that, when I got the notice that we were in the very final stretch, when I saw those words I almost lost control of my bowels. Totally took me by surprise. I thought I would have jumped for joy. Instead I was clamping 'em shut to keep from messing myself.

You just don't know HOW you're going to react until you're in the middle of doing it.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 3

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