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Newest Member: Phoenix2rise (45723)

User Topic: Ok, now I'm just angry
marlie2014
♀ 40981
Member # 40981
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since D-Day, I've gone through all sorts of moods. But I didn't feel anger for very long, but rather deep depression, crying fits, panic that our life together was over, etc.

Now that the WS says he wants to move out (and keeps trying to fool himself into thinking it's to 'help me think' when in reality it's because he doesn't want to deal with my pain and his guilt), I just feel anger. The whole, "I wish you would stay" has become an impatience for him to leave so that I can start processing all these feelings.

Last night, I wanted to go for a walk to clear my head. He insisted on going with me. He took my hand and wrapped my other arm around his waist as we walked and said, "It's nice to be with my friend." I didn't reply. So he said, "You are my friend, aren't you?"

I just felt like punching him. And for the rest of the walk, I told him I was angry and what was he going to do about it? And what if I had cervical cancer from the HPV he gave me? What would he do?

He got angry and said, "THIS is why I'm leaving!" (that is, having to listen to me express my anger -- which, BTW, I've BARELY done at all since D-Day).

Later on in the evening he apologized and said he'd stay with me if I were sick, but all I could think was, "I can't wait for you to leave, you filthy lying bastard."

I also have a very real urge to contact his last ONS. He's been with more than 20 whores (not prostitutes, just slutty women) but I don't know who any of them are except for two. One I'd never want to see again as long as I live because she was invited to my home and ate a meal under my roof, but the other was seen with my WS by friends, so they could tell me who she was and how to find her.

WS told me that after she had a pregnancy test last week and it was negative, she cried and begged him to stay with her. WTH?????????? When she was supposedly a ONS and KNEW he was married???????


BS: 33
WS: 35 and definitely SA
Married: 9 years
1 stepchild, now 18 years old
DDay: 9/2/2013
ONS: Multiples over at least a 6-year period, at least twenty
1 OC 5 yrs old and another on the way (by different ONS)
DIVORCED AND FREE!!!!

Posts: 211 | Registered: Oct 2013
MrsDoubtfire
♀ 24786
Member # 24786
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to start doing the 180 on him right now!

Last night, I wanted to go for a walk to clear my head.

As he says he wants to move out this is understandable.

He insisted on going with me.

He what? You should have told him you can't clear your head with him trying to push and pull at you all the time.

He took my hand and wrapped my other arm around his waist

So- he wants to leave you but is still playing the 'dangle the carrot in front of the donkey game!" (Not that I think you are a donkey btw!) He is playing you which is why the 180 would be so good for you right now.

....as we walked and said, "It's nice to be with my friend." I didn't reply. So he said, "You are my friend, aren't you?"

My response to this would have been; "Err, no actually. I am not your friend. I thought I was your wife!"

Again, he is dangling that big ole carrot right in front of your nose.

He want to be your friend; he wants to move out but he would stay with you if he gave you cancer due to an STI because he would have to prove he actually IS a good guy and not because he wanted to stay!


WS told me that after she had a pregnancy test last week and it was negative, she cried and begged him to stay with her.

This concerns me as it sounds like there is not a good NC under way. She shouldn't be able to have any time to be able to cry and beg him for anything!


I hope you stay strong and please do the 180.


BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now becomeć

Posts: 1588 | Registered: Jul 2009
marlie2014
♀ 40981
Member # 40981
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I am trying to do the 180. It's because up until a few days ago, I wasn't...so out of the blue I'm doing it and he is obviously very confused by it. Since he's still unemployed, he can't leave yet and I don't want to make it unbearable until he's gone...I also don't want him to go do something stupid and since we're still living in the same house, for me to pay the consequences. Have the cops show up at my front door. That sort of thing.


BS: 33
WS: 35 and definitely SA
Married: 9 years
1 stepchild, now 18 years old
DDay: 9/2/2013
ONS: Multiples over at least a 6-year period, at least twenty
1 OC 5 yrs old and another on the way (by different ONS)
DIVORCED AND FREE!!!!

Posts: 211 | Registered: Oct 2013
Topic Posts: 3

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