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Newest Member: YoungNInLove (61865)

User Topic: Depression
♀ 39146
Member # 39146
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Anyone else tired of the depression.
I've struggled with this feeling for as long as I can remember and I can't get it to go away.
It causes such a lack of motivation, and lack of want even. I sit like a lump on a log some days, just reading or walking around the house with no direction.
I do get stuff done and somedays I get a lot done, others all I do is sit or sit and smoke and drink coffee thinking.
I know its me that has to break it, I think that 'learned helplessness is cutting in.
Just wanting to see what other people are doing to break it.

BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6

Posts: 482 | Registered: Apr 2013
♂ 35566
Member # 35566
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry you are where you are. I can relate, and know how it feels.

I am stuck in a funk right now too. I know things I can do to make myself feel better, exercise, cooking a good meal for myself, calling a friend, but just getting the energy to do those things seem impossible sometimes. Finding a hobby to do to take your mind off of things works sometimes too.

What has worked in the past is setting up a schedule, and then putting alarms in my phone. For example, 8am - daily goals journal, 10am - meditate for 10 minutes, etc is a good reminder to sometimes snap me out of it, but lately that is not even working.

Maybe set up structure in your day, so you can't just wander aimlessly around the house.

Good luck.

Me: fWH/BH 46

Separated transitioning to D

Posts: 730 | Registered: May 2012 | From: L.A.
♀ 38391
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think one of the best ways to combat this is to stay busy. Unfortunately, that's hard to do when you don't FEEL like doing anything.

WH sees getting things done as part of his remorse expression. So, he makes himself do it even when he doesn't feel like it. And then afterward, he feels a little better bc he did.

Maybe if you looked at it that way it would be more motivating?

D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1162 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
♀ 39146
Member # 39146
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is kinda how I am thinking. I think about my BH at work and not wanting him to think I am any more worthless and I all think about the least I can do for him is to kep it together.
Some days that is hard to do.
Baby steps. I just find what I use to enjoy as no enjoyment and cannot find something for today to enjoy. REading is even hard to do .
Its really a messed up world I've made and given myself.
And the energy level. is just gone.

BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6

Posts: 482 | Registered: Apr 2013
♂ 37958
Member # 37958
Default  Posted: 11:18 PM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can understand. It has been a rough 3 weeks because the DDay year 1 is coming up and I havent done anything to make it better for my W. It gets harder which is true, but you have to continue to push pass it and support your spouse. That will take the depression away because when they are good you are too.

Its easier said than done because we caused the issue. I try to think positive and keep my mind in positive thinking, but knowing what I still did it hurts and I get stomped back down to the ground.

Just keep going and be positive, what I learned from my Buddhist meeting is that what you feel on the inside portrays everything on the outside because it reflects how you are on the inside. So be positive and it can help.

Me: WS 31
A : 17 months
Her : BS/WS 26 (ShockedErica11)
A: 3 months
DD : 3
Relationship : 4
Married : 2
DDay : November 2012
Her DDay : June 2013

Posts: 71 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Chamblee
♂ 40239
Member # 40239
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand where you're coming from Joan. I find that recently, the only thing that keeps me from spiraling into depression is my kids. Keeping things together for them is my strength. I feel horrible for my BS's pain but helpless to do anything about it. Couple that with 3 weeks of tripping and falling (and failing to help my WS feel safe) in my attempts to be better. It's just piling up and I feel the weight of it all starting to overwhelm me. I hope you can get out of your funk.

Me: FWH 34
Her: 31 and deserving much better than I've given her (CCW82)
Married 4 years, together 6 years.
D-Day: June 17th, 2013
"Don't give up. You're married until you're not. You never know what tomorrow will bring."

Posts: 123 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Dallas
Topic Posts: 6

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