Who cares if Ernie will ever see what he threw away.
Live up to your name and go find a man who is honest, has no password on his cell and only has one woman on his mind and in his heart.
You sound like a catch.
So get out there. Stop thinking of him and start thinking of yourself.
Second, something sounds seriously wrong with Ernie. Even lying cheats don't try to get you fired because they lied and cheated. He seems very unstable. Again, please get that restraining order.
Third, please, the next time a man does something that doesn't sit right with you, don't let him get away with it. I am NOT blaming you, and I know what it's like to want to believe someone, but an online album for a woman he hasn't seen in a decade? Your inner voice was screaming. Please, learn to listen to it.
Fourth, you will meet a great guy. You will, and he will be all you ever wanted, and he won't be crazy. It will happen. You will be happy, in spite of these jerks that want to bring you down.
He got mad at you for expressing your feelings about going to visit her. He got mad at you for talking to one of his friends. He got mad at you when you called him on his lying. And he got mad at you for ruining his RELATIONSHIP with this "friend" of his.
When does he ever have your back? When does he ever take YOUR feelings into consideration?
I'm so sorry you are here. That ANY of us are here. You deserve so much more than what this man can give you because all I see is what others see -- A very unstable and unpredictable man. Don't waste one more minute on a man who threatens to pound your face. OMG --- that's just awful.
And he threw me away for a woman he has only texted for a year and never seen until two weeks ago.
Gently, this is a huge lie. He has been in contact with this woman all along, and most likely he was involved with her before he met you. I don't believe for one minute that 10 years passed since he'd seen her nor do I believe that she's been married and divorced twice. Lies, lies, lies. Get the TRO and move on with your life. Find a real man that can love, respect, and appreciate the real woman you are.
What is important in all of this is that the man he presented to you for 10 months was a fake. People often have their best foot forward in new relationships but a man who threatens you physically and then tries to get you fired is showing his true, vindictive colors. This is the man he will always be when things don't go his way. Anyone can be charming when everything is roses and rainbows. I know it seems out of character to you but, really, in 10 months it's very difficult to know for sure what someone's true character is and he showed you his the minute the roses weren't so new.
Many a betrayed person on this site can attest to being duped by someone who was so unbelievably charming that his/her head was spinning when the true character came out. Being fooled by someone who can be very charming is proof that you have an open, loving heart. As much as it hurts that heart, it's in your best interest to let him go.
[This message edited by Tearsoflove at 3:32 AM, October 25th (Friday)]
Coming from a past VERY abusive relationship myself, your post raised all kinds of red flags.
Any man who threatens to " pound you" would have ended up being physically violent to you somewhere in your future with him. Non-violent men may call names & such in arguments, but would not threaten to "pound you" because it just isn't in their thought process. But one who does......
Also the job issue.....another DV sign.
Move on with your life w/o Ernie & breathe a big sigh of relief this didn't happen after you were married.
Hugs to you cuz I know it still hurts like hell.