This Topic is Archived
myalterego (original poster member #32756) posted at 6:58 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
Met with an attorney this week and she is recommending copying 2 years of bank statements, brokerage statements, mortgage, credit card bills, etc. This will be A LOT of paper. I don't want a safe deposit box (too much paper) - I just need it offsite.
Has anyone used a storage unit and just put a filing cabinet in it? Or is there anything in-between where I can store boxes of papers.
The appealing thing about a storage unit is they are generally pretty good hours open. There is one near me that as I copy a certain amount of data, I can stop by and drop off - it is convenient. A bank, obviously, has limited hours.
any suggestions?
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 7:22 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
Scan the documents and save them to a USB drive instead. Then put that drive in a small safe deposit box. My OCD self would probably backup the USB drive with another USB drive as well and keep them both in there.
Safe deposit boxes are fireproof. I don't believe storage units are, so that may be something to consider.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
hathnofury ( member #32550) posted at 7:26 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
I did what lieshurt suggested. The paper copies I gave to the lawyer, and I kept electronic copies in a safe deposit box.
BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.
TXBW68 ( member #36456) posted at 7:34 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
When we were separated, I scanned everything and emailed them to myself. Then I left the paper copies in my office at work - the one place I could guarantee he would not be allowed. I know others have given copies to trusted family/friends for safe-keeping as well.
Me (46) WH (42),2 boys 15 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 8:42 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
I kept paper copies in a locked box buried in the trunk of my car. The originals were sent to my brother out of state.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
chikastuff ( member #35288) posted at 8:48 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
I kept everything at the office. Ditto the suggestion of scanning the documents, you can also in a pinch take a picture with your camera phone.
Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on
debbysbaby ( member #32962) posted at 12:36 AM on Friday, October 25th, 2013
Scan all the documents and upload them to Google Drive. Or you can use dropbox or any number of the online storage places. You can logon from anywhere, print them and even share them with your lawyer if you need to. You could also put them on a USB drive as well but I like the online storage.
-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004
homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 11:19 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013
I rented a small storage unit for $25.00/mo and put all evidence in there. File cabinet, all the porn and sex toys I found in my closet that were his and hers, any notes I made regarding his lack of visitation with the kids, and all the financials.
It really helped me not to be stressed out trying to keep up with a flash drive.
FYI the storage facility DID get broken into, but not mine.
Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55
mom of 2 ( member #11214) posted at 12:19 AM on Monday, October 28th, 2013
I rented a small storage unit for $25.00/mo and put all evidence in there. File cabinet, all the porn and sex toys I found in my closet that were his and hers, any notes I made regarding his lack of visitation with the kids, and all the financials.
Although I am long divorced, I am never getting rid of the evidence I collected and have considered doing the same as homewrecked2011. Not only do I have tons of papers but also things that cannot be scanned. Right now it's all stacked in cardboard file boxes cluttering up my house. Besides, it would take me a year to scan all the papers! Easier for me to just safely store it.
Renting a closet-sized storage unit would be well worth the money and peace of mind to have it out of my house. I would give a key to a trusted friend just in case something happened to me. I wouldn't my kids stumbling across all the shit I saved if something happened to me.
Me: BW
Divorced after 23 years of M thanks to XH's truth trickle.
Status: Recovering and healing. It's going to be a long hard road.
Update November 2013: It only took seven years but I finally turned a corner. :)
myalterego (original poster member #32756) posted at 3:05 AM on Monday, October 28th, 2013
thanks guys...
I did rent a storage space - they are available 6am-9pm, so I can easily swing by there during errands or around kids' taxi service.
I understand the idea of putting everything on a flash drive, and if our financials were simpler, I would do that. However, gathering 2 years of financial records for credit cards, mortgages, deeds, bank accounts, brokerage accounts is overwhelming enough without the extra time to scan it all. It is faster and easier to copy it and be organized about filing.
mumof2 and homewrecked, thanks for chiming in that this was successful for you.
I am overwhelmed with this next planning portion and not looking forward to it. Can we just fast forward a few months?
homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 1:37 AM on Friday, November 8th, 2013
I dropped off everything I didn't want to deal with at the time. It was really nice. I went to organize stuff on days the kids were with their Dad, so I could sort thru and label stuff....
Fast forward----we didn't go to court. I had all this stuff saved up, but what it did was give me leverage so he couldn't try to get out of paying what he needed to pay me...
I ended up with the kids,the house, all the equity,(I have to make the house payments). He had to pay the 30,000 loan on the 401 K, pay his mom back $10,000 that he had written to me that he paid, but really didn't -- my atty said, "sorry, buddy, that's on you!!!". We split medical bills (I got orthodontics included) for kids 75/25, he pays their health insurance and child support and is required to keep life ins on himself with kids as beneficiaries til the youngest is 18. I had to pay my own atty fees- but my atty waived the rest of his fees if I would settle out of court. Also, he gets the children every other weekend, but is not allowed to have any girlfriends spend the night! So, he chose her, and the kids come home on his visitation nights. It's just as well because he drinks a lot.
I SHOULD have had the child support go thru the courts because I thinkI could call the child support office every couple years to have it increased, without the expense of an atty.
Hope this helps.
Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55
homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 1:44 AM on Friday, November 8th, 2013
mom of 2
on the
stuff! I still have my unit, too for this reason!!!
Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55
This Topic is Archived