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brkn_heartd posted 10/24/2013 20:51 PM

Rough week....4 years ago, this week in October was very difficult. I wanted to die...almost took care of it myself. He knew, I told him but he went deeper underground....

I have been trying hard not to let "A season" affect me so much, but I think my subconscious is showing it. He told me I wouldn't sleep close to him last night and every attempt to snuggle I moved away. I hate this....I feel like I have been stuck on the plain of lethal flatness for a while again....

Not looking for advice....just had to vent. I feel like a nervous wreck. Tomorrow is the worse day....an extremely painful day that was compounded by my Mother's Bday. It was the first Bday after her death, which made it doubly hard.

I wish the next few days I could go to sleep and wake up when it was over.

painfulpast posted 10/24/2013 21:33 PM

(((((brkn_heartd)))))

LosferWords posted 10/24/2013 22:17 PM

((brkn_heartd))

Please be gentle on yourself. Certain dates can be harder than others, especially when infidelity-related dates mix with holidays, birthdays, dates of a loved one's death. A whole gamut of rough and raw emotions can happen, especially in the days leading up to a rough date.

If you can, try to find something beautiful and comforting about the day tomorrow, and cling to that.

We're here for you if you need to talk more. Hang in there. You have our support.

brokensmile322 posted 10/24/2013 22:23 PM

I agree. And try to go do something just for you.

Lunch with friends, splurge on something you've been wanting, treat yourself to a massage or mani/pedi.

Even a walk in a park. Try to find beauty somewhere tomorrow. Hugs!

brkn_heartd posted 10/25/2013 19:03 PM

Thank you everyone! Today is better. My H noticed I was not myself this am. I told him it was a hard week. He knew why. He was very loving this am.

I had a massage this evening, and came home to the most beautiful card from him. He also wrote a very meaningful letter also. He also bought me some perfume that he used to buy me when we were dating.

It is better. Happy Birthday to my dear Mother, God rest her soul. I miss her so much. It is hard to have a trigger date combined with a loss of loved one trigger date. I will get through this week!

Thank you for the support.