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Newest Member: 4ever2gether (45763)

User Topic: Appropriate or not?
lonelyidiot
♀ 41101
Member # 41101
Stop  Posted: 9:01 PM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband wants to hang out with the ex of the guy I had an affair with. I am really uncomfortable with this. We are trying to rebuild our marriage after what happened. This is causing issues because he thinks I'm weak because it makes me anxious. Everyone I have talked to said this is not the right time for them to hang out. It takes time and he just wants to do what he wants.

Posts: 3 | Registered: Oct 2013
Deeply Scared
♀ 2
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi...

Why would your H think that's appropriate?

Was the OM a friend of your H's prior to your affair with him?

It would be helpful if you gave us some background information to navigate this a little better


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198880 | Registered: May 2002
lonelyidiot
♀ 41101
Member # 41101
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes but they never hung out alone. We were all close. My H has been very vindictive and accuses me still of talking to this other person but I haven't spoken to the dude since he asked me to help him kill himself. I said absolutely not and that was it.

Posts: 3 | Registered: Oct 2013
Card
♂ 23667
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, October 25th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Everyone I have talked to said this is not the right time for them to hang out.

Why is H planning to hang out with her? Is he wanting to compare notes of what you have told him with what the OM told her?
Or is there some other purpose in there hanging out together?

Have you asked him respectfully?


WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin


Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
Neznayou
♀ 40654
Member # 40654
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, October 25th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know about appropriate, but weird definitely comes to mind. It seems to me that he would want to put as much distance between you as a couple and the OM and OBS. Also, DeeplyScared has a good point, more info might help. Like my BH said in another thread, the OBS in my A hates my BH and blames him in part.


Me: WW
Caught at AP's house: 10 Aug 2012
Admitted PA: 12 Aug 2012
TT ended: Jan 2014

"Power, Lincoln, real power comes not from hate, but from truth."


Posts: 336 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: America to Europe
Topic Posts: 5

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