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Phoenix9572 (original poster member #39987) posted at 3:52 PM on Friday, October 25th, 2013
Well I have been missing from here for a couple of weeks. Life seems to have settled into a comfortable routine that is so much more peaceful than when I was married. I am enjoying the perspective time and NC have given me. Though there will be big challenges ahead I know that I am so much better off. Sad that I didn't feel that way before.
Anyway, today I had my first job interview in 24 years. The last one was when I was in high school! I think I did really well but I was disappointed to hear what the salary would be. I was hoping it would be a little more. We go next week to mediation for provisional support. Will getting a (basically) minimum wage job prevent me from getting any spousal support from him while we are separated? There is no way I would be able to the boys and I on the salary and child support. I hate to turn it down because it is in the school system and would put my hours and schedules the same as my boys. Wouldn't be a great fit but it would let me still be the mom I want to be even if I'm not stay at home all day. Anyone else face this dilemma before?
thanks for the input as always!
Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 4:03 PM on Friday, October 25th, 2013
SS calculations assume you have a minimum wage job. You should take the job if they offer it!
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 11:05 PM on Friday, October 25th, 2013
That's exactly what my Lawyer told me. The courts will assume you are capable of holding down a minimum wage job, unless you can prove otherwise. It won't effect spousal support, at least not in Illinois.
ETA: I just went on my first job interview in 10 years and now have a seasonal retail job. All the paperwork is online now. Things have changed so much, haven't they? 
[This message edited by Gemini71 at 5:06 PM, October 25th (Friday)]
DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014
inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 12:02 AM on Saturday, October 26th, 2013
I used to be a sahm. When I was going through my divorce, my attorney specifically told me not to get a job until after the divorce was final. If I had an income, no matter how low, it would have affected the amount of child support I received, and probably the amount of spousal support as well.
Just saw the other replies. It seems it depends on where you live. I'd check with your attorney first, before you take the job.
There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown
HeartStings ( member #38017) posted at 6:45 AM on Saturday, October 26th, 2013
Take the job if it is offered! It's hell out here, especially for SAHMs out of the workforce for many years.
My lawyer told me to take any job I could find. The reduction in spousal support and child support would only amount to about $40 per week.
Good luck!
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