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I conquered a huge fear

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BrokenDaisy posted 10/25/2013 11:26 AM

The past 2 days have been extremely challenging as a single parent (sole custody.) My son got a horrible stomach bug and first was throwing up for a day and then horrible diarrhea for another day. He finally has some colour back in his skin and is sleeping peacefully. Seems like the bug is out of his system.

It was awful (It hurts me so when my son is not feeling well) but I also have a sense of achievement. I did it. ALONE. No help. It was one of my biggest fears - what if my son gets ill how do I cope alone? But I did. I am sleep deprived and bone tired but my son survived and I gave him all the love and attention and care he needed. I managed the doctor visit, pharmacy, meds giving, cleaning up (what a mess he's still too young to know to puke in a bucket), everything and I'm so relieved. I can do this alone. I have been doing this alone since he was born really. Why was this such a big fear for me? It feels freeing. My son will be okay. I can be enough for him. I'm not perfect and it would be nice to have some help (and get sleep!!) but I am enough.

I love this little boy so much. I'm doing this. I was so afraid I won't be enough for him... Conquering one challenge at a time!

wildbananas posted 10/25/2013 11:30 AM

You're awesome, Daisy. You CAN do this!

Glad DS is on the upswing. Get some rest yourself!

little turtle posted 10/25/2013 11:32 AM

Way to go!!! I was feeling the same way as you as I approached my divorce. Some awesome people on SI pointed it out to me that I've been doing it on my own all along... It really does feel great once you realize it yourself!

BrokenDaisy posted 10/26/2013 07:27 AM

Aaaand busy conquering another fear: ME being as sick as a dog and having no help... feeling quite sorry for myself currently. This is hard but I can do it! I've done everything else.

But Universe? Kindly stop throwing crap my way now please. I'm due for some peace!

thebighurt posted 10/26/2013 08:55 AM

Aww, crap, ((((BrokenDaisy)))), this is generally what happened to me back when mine were sick as littles. There were usually 4 of us sick at once or in sequence and xpos working so many hours that he wasn't there to help.

It stinks for sure. I hope you can get the rest you need to feel better. At least DS feels better now. Is there a friend or family member could help out in some way?

(((BD and DS)))

BrokenDaisy posted 10/26/2013 11:20 AM

Thank you TBH! I moved far away as part of my NB and haven't gotten to the "make friends" part yet so no, no help. I do have one family member close by but they also have a little one so I don't want to get them sick. I'm fine however, I much rather be the sick one than have DS feel awful. We (DS and I) just had a nice nap so I'm feeling much better and have some strength again. I think the worst is over so no more pity party.

Nature_Girl posted 10/26/2013 21:33 PM

Good job, mama!

Blackhair posted 10/26/2013 21:41 PM

I had the same fear living along with rein boys under a year old, glad to hear you did it!
Big hug to the big, brave mom! It is so true that I have been alone taking care of them anyways since WS started chasing young chicks. I guess the fear is all in our head.

gardenparty posted 10/27/2013 19:37 PM

That is wonderful. A good mama who loves her child is more than enough. Remember conquering this challenge the next time you face one and you will get through anything.

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