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Plans getting all twisted into chores

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Crescita posted 10/25/2013 15:12 PM

Ever try to make plans with someone and then feel wrangled into doing way more than you intended? This seems to be a trend lately and Iím inclined to just hibernate for 6 months.

movingforward777 posted 10/26/2013 10:47 AM

Ask more questions during the "planning" stage....set a time limit on the amount of time you have to "help", and be honest with your friends that you are not able/available to be wrangled into more than what you originally committed to....HUGS

Nature_Girl posted 10/26/2013 12:02 PM

I have a sister like this. One minute we have plans to go to lunch. The next thing I know all kinds of errands are added in, and suddenly what should have been just an hour is a grand plan for half the day and includes work clothes and the need to take a shower after.

Take2 posted 10/26/2013 12:33 PM

Boundaries! I answer invites by honestly stating what I'm up for and what I am not. "I could run to the bank and lunch, if we're back by 2:00 -- but I really am not up for all day, or running a bunch of errands. I just don't have it in me - or - I need to do this or that at home...."

So if you are inviting: Hey want to go for a quick lunch? I have 2 hours open on Sat.

Takes some practice with the persistent, and I'm sure my friend feels it is a bit rude of me. But I'm not going to spend what little free time I have running someone else's errands, so I state the boundaries of my willingness up front.

Crescita posted 10/28/2013 11:37 AM

I can always count on you guys for good ideas

It seems I've been much too open and flexible in establishing plans which makes it really difficult to reign that back in once I realize I'm over-committing.

Thankfully the stress inducing plans fell through this past weekend. I'll try to be better about it going forward.

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