"Time is showing how true that is for me. The man I thought ex-shat was was an ideal he aspired to be. That person never actually existed but because we both believed that someday he would exist, we muddled on in our hellacious co-dependency."
this is my exact scenario. i went around in circles with him for a yr because of what he claimed he would do. words are not actions tho. and so we kept spinning.
"Fighting to maintain an illusion was obviously not the best course of action for my children and myself"
after my last ex cheated i stayed in the mode of wanting this "illusion" of marriage and being one with someone. even tho it was destroying my soul. I was hanging onto MOMENTS of happiness I had with him. not the overall. But I also had to go thru it to learn to be more, accept and grow.
perhaps this is why Im not willing to stay in a relationship for the what ifs and the maybe it could be betters.
[This message edited by lifestoshort at 10:03 AM, October 26th (Saturday)]