Am I insane for even thinking about this? It's not like they "know" me, or I know them...I just see them when I check out a book. But now I'm feeling like I should cancel all my hold requests. It feels like airing my dirty laundry.
Did anyone else experience something similar, or am I a total nutbar?
"Are you hurting the one you love?
You said you got to heaven, but it wasn't enough."
"Look, as sentient meat, however illusory our identities are, we craft those identities by making value judgments. Everybody judges, all the time. Now, you got a problem with that, you’re living wrong."
The people you do your life with shape the life you live
I think in a way I NEED to do this, just to get over it. My library doesn't have self check out, and even if they did, holds are always behind the counter. SOMEONE'S going to know what's up. More than anything I think I was nervous about what WH's reaction would be. We always go to the library together. But, I told him I requested a bunch of books and while he seemed a little taken aback, I think he felt he couldn't really say anything... and he's 100% right!
That being said, I would probably pick them up at a nearby library :)
Where I live, I am able to use libraries in nearby counties. Do you have that option? It might be worth a few minute drive to be anonymous.
I guess I'm more worried about my feelings not being insane than the actual process of picking up the books. I am sure I will survive, it just feels weird. But I also feel like I shouldn't have to jump through hoops to cover up something HE did, which I guess is why I haven't cancelled the holds or changed them.
RedRose, that is really interesting about the confidentiality. I had NO idea there was any such thing! Not that I'm worried any one person in particular will "find out," just someone looking me in the face and wondering what happened...even going to a different branch wouldn't solve that, actually, now that I think of it.
Thanks for the sanity check, all. I'm having a lot of weird thoughts lately.
That being said, e-libraries are amazing. I'd go to the bigger library to get a card just so you can have access to a larger e-library.
I bought all my infidelity books online, too. I never faced a bookseller or librarian.
And then have him go buy you tampons.
Sorry...I can understand your thoughts, I would be too uncomfortable to get them at the library. I even keep the books I have on my shelf turned around so the title doesn't face out in case some random person in my home would see them.
So know, you are not insane or else you are not the only one.