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It IS Final!

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Phoenix1 posted 10/26/2013 03:48 AM

The magistrate said it would take 2-3 weeks for the judge to sign off. Guess the courts weren't that backed up as I received final papers TODAY, six days after the final hearing. They even got the dates mixed up and made it effective a day earlier than the final hearing date. Regardless, it is finally OVER!! I am no longer legally tied to that soul sucking POS!

I plan to call MIL as I feel a need to have one last, honest conversation (I know XPOS has lied to her) with her and to let her know this changes nothing between her and her grandchildren and that she is welcome to visit any time, but because XPOS sent that last text about "changing his mind" I plan to lay low for 30 days to allow the appeal window to close before doing so.

DD17 asked me just tonight how long I thought it would be before XPOS and twatbox get married. I told her two months, max...

I now get to really begin my new life and am looking forward to rebuilding my lost future. In honor of my divorce, I went out and splurged on a Coach purse, bought with proceeds from some of his shit I sold, to replace the seven year old Walmart purse that I have used daily while he spent thousands on his whores. I think I earned it!

My DS20, who is visiting this weekend from the military, is even trying to convince me to get a tatoo with him in honor of my new found freedom (XPOS hates tats with a passion and doesn't know DS20 acquired one recently that he shared with me). I am still on the fence with that one, but its not like I have to worry about XPOS's feelings, or anyone else's any longer!

This is very bittersweet, and don't really feel like I can enjoy it until the appeal window is over, but it is certainly a major step in the right direction! CS is a joke, but I really don't need it and didn't expect it since he was unemployed when this started. And he asks nothing about DD17 anyway so there is total NC. But since I got what I wanted, including the marital home (and all equity), sole legal, and primary physical custody with visitation left up to DD (which won't be any, and POS must pay all travel expenses if it does occur), I am content with the general outcome. My life and that of DD does not change (read:stability) in any way except for his absence and the stress and additional bills that went with him, 4,000 miles away. Playing the proverbial "game" of strategy and biting my tongue these past few months was well worth it, and no attorney's fees was an added bonus!

In the meantime, while DD and I are planning a celebratory trip to the Caribbean for her spring break, XPOS gets to worry about how he will afford diapers and formula for his new twatbox family! Poor thing!

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 4:06 AM, October 26th (Saturday)]

MovingUpward posted 10/26/2013 06:19 AM


devistatedmom posted 10/26/2013 08:48 AM

Congrats Phoenix1!!!!!

I get you laying low...but hey, that appeal isn't coming, he swore he was calling the courts last Monday! I'm sure, he's such a prince, that he's waiting for you to send him the phone number because hey, it's too much work for him to look it up!

Happy shopping, happy weekend, and happy trip planning!

jemimapd posted 10/26/2013 08:56 AM

Post a pic of that big bling purse, Phoenix! Congratulations. I wish you all the happiness in the world.


Take2 posted 10/26/2013 09:27 AM

Congratulations Phoenix!

SisterMilkshake posted 10/26/2013 09:34 AM

I am so glad you splurged on yourself, Phoenix. Great post! Happy New Beginnings!

nowiknow23 posted 10/26/2013 09:45 AM

Congratulations, Phoenix! So much sunshine ahead for you and your kids.

inconnu posted 10/26/2013 09:58 AM

Congratulations on your new beginning! Live the life you are worthy of!

FaithFool posted 10/26/2013 10:04 AM

Congratulations on your liberation!

*****twatbox family*******

newlysingle posted 10/26/2013 10:14 AM


dmari posted 10/26/2013 12:38 PM

I am doing cartwheels!!! Happy happy happy for you!! Celebrate!! Burn the walmart purse! Go out with your badass Coach purse!! Damn ... a Caribbean trip!! You know how to celebrate!

P.S. How did you get sole legal? That's amazing!

peridot posted 10/26/2013 13:26 PM


surviving1963 posted 10/26/2013 13:44 PM

Yay for you! Enjoy your new life without a ball and chain. Life on "your terms" from now on.

I can't wait to get to the point you are at!

tryingagain74 posted 10/26/2013 16:08 PM

Congratulations! Welcome to your NB!

Housefulloflove posted 10/26/2013 16:17 PM

Yaaaay!! Congratulations! While you enjoy your new beginnings I hope his is filled with overflowing diapers and sleepless nights.

momentintime posted 10/26/2013 17:20 PM

Perhaps the appeal window will close on him before he recognizes the dates are wrong and he doesn't know he only has a month to file! YeeHaw, wouldn't that frost his buns!

Congrat. Next year at this time you will be well established in your new normal, him, he will be dealing with a small child and all that entails. Easy sailing for you, responsibility and hard work for him.

Phoenix1 posted 10/26/2013 17:25 PM

Thank you everyone for the well wishes and support. It means A LOT! Of course, it is certainly not a perfect ending as XPOS destroyed my credit and also left me with a mountain of debt he created with his unending spending (the whole sucky 50/50 debt division thing), but I know I can overcome those in time. At least all my steps are now going forward, not the perpetual one step forward and two steps back that I suffered thru the marriage that was a constant source of frustration and resentment.

I am sure XPOS will be livid and full of questions when he eventually learns of our Caribbean trip, but he has no clue of my connections for affordable travel! I hope he turns green with envy while he sits in his rental house changing diapers! I should also mention he drives his big gas guzzling truck all over the place as part of his new job so I know that is hurting him as well - the same big ass truck he HAD to have though we really couldn't afford it (we're talking about 10-12 mpg). How's that mobile money pit working for you now, Genius?? I will enjoy my libation while soaking up the sun on a white sandy beach doing absolutely nothing but enjoying my time with my kids (the other two will join us if they can work it in their schedules)!

dmari, you asked how I got sole legal. Well, I put it in the document and never discussed it. The document does not explain what that means so XPOS would have had to look that up on his own, which he didn't so he likely doesn't even realize what he gave up. It made me physically sick to pretend to be civil to get him to sign, and timing was critical as twatbox was still on the periphery not yet exerting her influence, and I may have utilized a few emotional manipulation tactics of my own (after 30 years I do know a few things about him!). But what I lost can be overcome. I do think I should receive an Oscar nomination for my performance!

For those of you still struggling with the process, my heart and prayers go out to you, and may you all reach the end of your own hellish situations soon!

tesla posted 10/26/2013 17:48 PM

I love this post.

Congrats on starting your new beginning!!!

PurpleRose posted 10/26/2013 17:56 PM

This is awesome! I can feel your relief and happiness coming through my iPad!! So glad you are well on you way to a happy NB Phoenix!

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