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stungbytravel posted 10/26/2013 16:37 PM

I am still "friends" with he and his family on Facebook. He is never on. The last time he logged on was over a year ago.

When is it Facebook appropriate to say I am no longer married to him, change my name and when can I unfriend his family gracefully. They have not reached out to me at all even though I am pretty sure they know the situation.

My immediate family knows what it is going on but not extended. It seems bad form to have them find out via Facebook.

What have you all done?

Oh yeah, We are separated but divorcing with a potential end date in sight - a few months.

[This message edited by stungbytravel at 4:38 PM, October 26th (Saturday)]

PurpleRose posted 10/26/2013 17:02 PM

It's Facebook... You can unfriend anyone you want whenever you want! You don't need special permission from him to change your name or list your marital status either.

Do what makes you the most comfortable.

SBB posted 10/26/2013 17:12 PM

Judging by your registration date your DD was pretty recent.

I would focus on getting through each minute, each hour, each day for now. FB isn't a critical issue.

I changed my status from married to blank pretty soon after S because *I* couldn't stand seeing it. I blocked him and his whores for the same reason.

I didn't change anything else for a few months after S. Not because I wanted to be with him but because it felt petty and attention seeking. He changed his status from married to separated a few days after DD and told me during False R that he was hurt that "only" 2 people reached out to him (which proves he did it for attention). When I did change my name everyone already knew what was going on so it wasn't a big dramatic thing to do.

My advice - block him and his whores and never unblock them (you can't re-block for 48 hours). Changed your relationship status to blank then start blocking his family/friends in a few months time (unless they give you due cause to do so before then).

I am still FB friends with XSILs/XBIL and a few mutual friends who understand I don't want to discuss the sad clown in any way, shape or form.

In time I'll change the settings to make some of them acquaintances and can only see things that I specify acquaintances to see ie: photos/posts of the girls.

Some here have de-activated their accounts altogether. That wasn't an appealing option for me as I have lots of friends all over the Australia and the world and I like keeping in touch with them via FB - a lazy way to stay connected.

If you are tempted to air your dirty laundry on FB I would shut it altogether. I sooooo wanted to post a bunch of stuff but my pride stopped me. I am reaping the rewards of that as I have remained dignified throughout. The sad clown on the other hand has made a complete fool of himself with all sorts of pathetic posts (mutual friends warned me - I didn't let them tell me what it said and asked them to not tell me in future as it is of zero interest to me).

These first few months are the hardest - I promise you won't feel this way forever.

((stungbytravel))

stungbytravel posted 10/26/2013 18:29 PM

Thank you.

The petty reason is why I haven't done anything. I haven't posted anything negative about him or the situation. I have no interest in doing so. Plus I do not want the complicate the divorce - right now it is going ok.

My DD was awhile ago. I registered a year ago. We have been separated 4 months.

Gemini71 posted 10/26/2013 20:49 PM

We use FB messanger as a way to communicate about the kids.

It was really hard at first, but I've learned to not post anything about our relationship or lack thereof. We did post a "We're divorcing. End of message." Went back and deleted it later, it just raised a bunch of questions that I did not want to deal with in a public forum. So tempting to out his A, but I've resisted so far.

Now I just post proud parent stuff.