Once you start feeling this way is there any hope at all? Do you learn to love them again? Do you gradually fall back in love or fall in love with the 'new' them Or is it just done?
Sometimes I think that once we get through the holiday season Ill just leave him. I dont want the kids to go through a breakup during the holiday season. I want that to always be a happy time for them. Ive become really numb to every emotion lately. The only thing I have really felt for him recently is anger and disgust.
I cant see myself without him
The opposite of love is not hate ... It is indifference.
seems I'm on the 15 year plan
He had to have a meeting at work today and OW was there, idk if I even care anymore.
What a sad way to feel.
Thank you all for the replies, they mean so much to me.
I missed who I was married to and now that person no longer exists and I don't know if he ever did.
I've detached because I felt like I was married to a stranger.
Wow, these describe me exactly. My husband did something that I just feel is unforgivable. And then I found out that not only did he do the terrible, disgusting thing, but that he's been lying and keeping secrets about online sexual activities - including looking up Craigslist NSA sex ads since a couple months after we got married - for the last 8 years. I feel like it's all been a lie, that the person I thought I was married to never existed. It's a horrible reality and this person that I live with now seems like a roommate that I basically can't stand to even look at but am tied to in so many ways. It makes me sad to think about leaving, but it makes me really sad to think about staying and feeling like this for the rest of my life. Someone said, would you be happier with your WS or without them? At this point, I am feeling like it would be without him. :( What makes me sad is losing the man that I loved. But not the man he turned out to be.
Latest DD - April 2013, PA
I have never stopped loving him. Not even for a minute, not even when I was throwing up in the toilet at the thought of the two of them together. There have been times when I wished, even prayed to stop loving him so that I could walk away from this wreckage. I have actually prayed for that level of detachment
I have stopped liking him, I have stopped trusting him, I have stopped believing in him. These were the things that were lost in the fire.
When people say that love alone will not pull a couple though this kind of trauma (JMO) I think they are right.
My love for fWH has never been in question. The question for me is how do I get those other feelings back.
[This message edited by toughernow at 3:33 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]
Married 23 years - together for 29 years
DDay - June 10th 2012 then TT'd-June 2012 - July 2012 (and beyond????)
2 amazing children
"Understanding love is one of the hardest things in life." - Fred Rogers
Going home at night to him isn't as exciting as it used to be. If he ever waits up for me I want to go someplace else.