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Divorce/Separation :
there's a few SI Christmas traditions

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smile1

 inconnu (original poster member #24518) posted at 2:53 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

I know not everyone wanders all the way down to the Fun & Games forum, but if you're looking for some holiday cheer to arrive in your mailbox this year, and you're willing to send some out as well, check out this thread down there http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=510274

Please don't be intimidated by all the glitter talk. Glitter is entirely optional. But it's fun, and cheerful, and carries its own form of SI support and magic.

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6538637
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 2:56 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

Know why I don't participate? Because of the glitter. Even a threat of glitter is enough to make me refuse to participate. I can not handle the clean up from glitter or confetti. It's too much to bear.

I'd do it otherwise!

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6538639
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HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 3:00 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

Okay, tell you what. NG, if you sign up I promise not to put any glitter in your card. :-)

Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4971   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 6538642
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 inconnu (original poster member #24518) posted at 3:02 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

I understand. It is messy. But for me it was so worth it, especially the first year I did it. I was going through my divorce at the time, and opening all those cards that showed up in my mailbox brought me to tears. The good kind, for a change.

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6538645
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 3:03 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

I thought you were talking about the Christmas Beaver debate...

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6538647
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 inconnu (original poster member #24518) posted at 3:09 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

oh, there is that, too, isn't there? too bad I can't edit my subject and make it "there's a few SI Christmas traditions"

and it would be really helpful if I could remember from year to year where I stand on the beaver debate.

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6538653
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 3:11 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

I feel it is a great tradition and I loved the glitter. I opened the cards outside and we had glitter snow. It was very cool for months and months. (We live in the frozen tundra, as Garrison Keillor would say.)

What I found disappointing was I sent a card to every single person on the list, even members I had never heard of before. However, not everyone sent me a card. This was when I was fairly new to the forum so many didn't (and still don't) know me.

I understand stamps are expensive plus the cards. At the time I did it there were 63 people on the list. I bet it could easily be 100 people now. That can wind up being a lot of postage. (Around $45.00 for 100 postage) Plus, do you send out cards to other people IRL?

I feel obligated to send (and want to) send a card to everyone on the list. I just don't know if I can afford it!

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6538655
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gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 2:28 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

NG,

I opened my cards last year over a bowl in the kitchen. I didn't think there was much mess at all. And I laughed the entire time.The feeling of love and friendship I got while doing that was just plain awesome.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

posts: 3991   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011   ·   location: Georgia
id 6538942
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welcome14 ( member #26741) posted at 3:23 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

I send one to everyone also, and I'm not very well known either, but I got a great amount of them! My adult (25yo)DD and I can't wait to open them together, and it's become a new Christmas tradition that we bond over. It's done in the kitchen over a bowl, but somehow we, the cat and the two pups all end up looking like we just did a Suicide Girls show! Too funny! My DD works part time in a venue in Nashville that had a Suicide Girls show, and she said the green room was coated in glitter- she said it reminded her of Christmas Everyone should try this- yes, it is a little pricey, but I buy my cards on clearance the previous year, and it is heartwarming to think that we are giving a good holiday memory to someone who may still be in great pain and needs a sign that there is love and caring in the world. You should all try it!

Bs- me
Someone I used to know- Him
Nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home- nikki sixx

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.

posts: 1566   ·   registered: Dec. 16th, 2009   ·   location: clarksville, tn/ Ft Campbell
id 6538976
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Fireball72 ( member #20152) posted at 4:42 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

It's a definite cheer-bringer, glitter or not. I really didn't get a WHOLE lot of glitter, just a couple of cards had them and they were really VERY pretty.

My use of glitter (despite my joking around) is limited to a glue stick and sprinkling a little on the inside. That's about it.

Promise, it's a whole lot of fun, and I don't even participate that much on here, yet my mailbox was stuffed full. Made me feel really good.

BS (me):44 (now 52) WS (him):42 (now 50)Married 3.5 years, together 5.5 D-Day #1 - 2/10/16 #2 - 2/20/16 #3 - 5/27/16 Divorced 6/12/17 One daughter, 9, the light of my life. Finally happy.

posts: 722   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: The Chesapeake Bay
id 6539047
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 6:21 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

Teslet and I participated last year and I really, really needed it.

Teslet and I can't wait to make this year's cards!

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6539119
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 6:48 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

too bad I can't edit my subject and make it "there's a few SI Christmas traditions"

I updated it.

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6539148
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 7:10 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

I opened my cards last year over a bowl in the kitchen. I didn't think there was much mess at all.

Same here. I don't quite understand how others have glitter all over their house, but I find it funny to think about!

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5648   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 6539170
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 7:21 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

Whatever you do, don't open them when you're in bed. I went to work looking like the Sugarplum Fairy for weeks afterward.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6539179
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 inconnu (original poster member #24518) posted at 7:24 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

thanks for the subject change.

now we can warn all the newbies to look for the Christmas beaver. Or is it a puppy? Or some other as of yet unknown animal?

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6539181
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 inconnu (original poster member #24518) posted at 7:29 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

I don't quite understand how others have glitter all over their house

Honestly, I suspect most of my glittery mess at my house comes from when I'm putting the glitter in the cards in the first place. I have to admit to really only glitter-bombing the people I know well enough that I figure they won't mind. And I was not as creative with my glitter last year as I had been in the previous years. Hmm, I will have to see what I can do about that this year. bwahahaha

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6539185
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 8:15 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2013

I opened my cards over a bowl last year, but the residual glitter gradually leaked all over the apartment--to the point that I thought I might have to forefeit my security deposit...

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6539228
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ninebark ( member #24534) posted at 5:09 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2013

I had no idea this existed. I must do it!!!

BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

posts: 630   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6540155
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 5:15 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2013

The first time I did this was 2yrs after dday. In my home you have to walk through the dining room to get to the kitchen or family room. I hung up the cards near the ceiling around the whole dining room. Everytime I was in there, I felt like I was getting a huge hug from all of SI. It was a tremendous help during the holidays.

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6540167
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 5:35 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2013

I open mine on the porch. However, that doesn't stop the corgis from somehow eating it. Glittery dog poop is the consequence of that!

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6540199
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