My boys have been really reluctant to talk about their dad and the divorce with me. DS18 spend a couple of years being angry with the world, and it's just been in the past year or so he has become more open to talking. We had a really good conversation last weekend, and this time, when I brought up the idea of seeing a counselor, he didn't immediately blow me off.
DS21 decided to take the approach of avoidance. I'm really beginning to see the signs of how well that's not working for him, with the antiversary triggering being a really big sign. So far, he remains closed to the idea of seeing a counselor, although I know it would be a good idea for him. But, it's only going to be beneficial if he's willing, kwim?
So, I mostly wait until they bring it up, but lately I've done more mentioning of their dad than I used to, because I think they need to know it is okay to talk about him around me.