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Newest Member: Notnemore (60749)

User Topic: Help! Need a hand up from the rabbit hole
♀ 39518
Member # 39518
Shocked  Posted: 10:09 PM, October 26th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The last 48 hours have been straight from the twilight zone! And I think I'm going insane. Short background--caught WBF again on fb chat, confronted,He began by telling me that he had lost his phone in the Wal Mart parking lot, so whatever fb texts I had been reading could not possibly been sent by him, his phone had been stolen! and someone else had sent the texts (wonder how some random person sent a photo of WBF dick to OW????? and proceeded to chate for several hours. So, early the next morning I dropped his stuff off at his mom's house, sent an epic fuck off text, blocked his phone from calls and text, dusted my hands off and went on with my day.

That lasted all of 2 hours until I realized that he could still text me because something did not work with the block. And down the rabbit hole I went...... stupid, stupid, stupid. So he embellished the story when I was not responding favorably.....the police are now looking for me because I hacked into his fb (which the police had found out about because they read his text messages and informed him that I had committed a crime--Gasp!--he doesn't own the phones and has only paid his portion for 2 months vs. my 12 months) and since I won't give him his dog (hello....your dumbass is sleeping on a cot in your mothers spare bedroom, how the fuck are you supposed to take care of a dog?) he is bringing the police and on his way to my apartment. Told him good luck with that because I wasn't at home and wouldn't be for several hours. But I would gladly meet with them and give him his stuff back. Needless to say, this really hacked him off that I wasn't asking him "how high"...started hinting that there were other "matters" that the police would want to discuss with me. Like what? My annual donation to crime-stoppers? Now he's all mysterious (cue dramatic music from a 1950's detective story) and won't say, except it's serious. Ok, I guess I better bring you the dog and take the cats to my daughters if I'm going to be locked up (I can be dramatic too!). Then I ask him for this (fictional) police report number so I can deal with this "situation". Guess what? He won't tell me which police station the report has been lodged at! Shock, horror!!! By now, I'm sick of this whole thing and getting really angry---cover your ears, this is where language becomes an issue......I let him have it! I'm glad my neighbors didn't call the police because I completely lost it. I'm not proud of it, I have never actually said, um screamed, some of those things to another person. End of convo

This is where I need help. I took him the dog today, he wants to share "custody", really it's just a way for him to maintain contact. He cries a little bit and I leave. About 10 minutes later, he calls me sobbing (did I mention that he is 47, not 10?) that I needed to turn around and come back. Finally get out of him that the dog was "fighting" with her dog-- the dogs have played together on many occasions before, so I don't think this is serious. I needed to come back and get the dog because his mother doesn't want her there. No wait, can you come and pick her up tomorrow?

Am I wrong to just continue with my plan to block his numbers and go on with my life? Leave him and the dog to go on with theirs? I have to say that I feel very responsible for the dog (she's 7 months old) because we were all living together until July, then it's been me and the dog. It is technically his dog and he'll take care of her, I just don't know what to do. My gut tells me to block and crickets. OTOH, I don't want any harm to come to the dog. What do you think?

Do you think my ex is narcissistic? I can't figure out what his problem is. These crazy stories and situations that don't make any sense and then when you see him, he acts like nothing has happened? Is this the same kind of stuff that some of you are dealing with? It's exhausting. Sorry this was so long. but my brain is on overload. Thank you SI peeps

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Lone Star State
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, October 26th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


That is some crazy drama that you are having to deal with there. I don't see anything illegal that you did. Let him call the cops.

It sounds to me like it is time to disengage. Best of luck to you. So sorry you are dealing with this.

Posts: 30659 | Registered: Dec 2010
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, October 26th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to detach. Disengage, as was just wisely stated.

Sorry about the dog, but it's his dog. He's so concerned about the dog that he pretends to call the cops? Let him keep the dog. Done.

I'm sorry. I know it isn't easy. For your own sake, don't bother trying to diagnose him. Just figure your own shit out and live a better life.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, October 26th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you take back the dog, you'll be opening that door to keeping contact with him. If you can handle (and don't mind) the limited contact-then rescue the dog from him. I am sure you are the more responsible pet owner.

If you do it, go into it with your eyes open.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 6708 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
♀ 39362
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been through a similar levels of insanity with my STBX. The best thing I did for myself was 100% NC. It's been such a blessing.

He's using the dog and threats of police to manipulate you.

The craziness will keep going as long as you leave room for it because he needs you to feed it.

Close the door, lock the windows and put up the closed sign. He'll take his crazy some where else.

There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 415 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
♀ 39518
Member # 39518
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys for the super advice! I knew that I needed to let the dog go (Kajem-I would be the more responsible pet owner but.....). I love animals and the thought that he doesn't have a stable life was driving me crazy. But his lifestyle works for him and he always lands on his feet so why would this be any different?

I guess "mom mode" never really goes away He gets crickets from now on.

**Edited because my computer decided that I was done; I disagreed

[This message edited by Celticlass at 10:28 AM, October 27th (Sunday)]

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Lone Star State
Topic Posts: 6

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