He says it makes him feel better about what he did because that is a line he did not cross. A moral he did not violate.
He was asking me if that made a difference to me, made what he did not so bad.
NO. It does not do one tiny thing for me. He started an emotional affair while married and living with me. He deceived me. When confronted he chose her over me and walked out the door for two months. He left because of her, because he thought she was better, (his words). He left so that he could feel justified in dating and having sex with someone else while married to me.
I told him all of this, also that he broke his vows. His instant response was, "don't throw vows at me, you broke your vows". This is my 3rd marriage, yup, not a good track record for me.
1st, wanted to be with other women. At least he came to me first and gave me a choice. I divorced him.
2nd, cheated after 10 years, while I was pregnant with my youngest. I stayed for 10 more years, 3 young boys and fear of not being able to provide for them. We lived as antagonistic roommates for 10 years, very ugly, not healthy for anyone involved.
Current h, I trusted him, really trusted him, shared everything about my life with him, everything. He still saw the good in me until he didn't.
Anyway he is saying that I broke my vows too so I have no right to say anything to him about vows. B***S***!!!
This is making me so angry. He is still trying to minimize and justify. He is trying to ease his conscious by telling me and himself that I have broken my vows too.
This is a man that hasn't got a clue. This is a man in denial. This is a man who is not remorseful. This is a man looking for excuses.
This is never going to work. This is a man that cannot handle the truth.
This is a woman that is strong enough to handle the truth. I know the truth even when he is telling lies. He is telling lies to me and even worse, to himself.
dday October 21,2012 dday December 20, 2013 wh deleted I attempted R, he was a lie
"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."
I hope he starts treating you like the woman you are. He is still justifying his actions, hopefully he wakes up and realizes that.
I wish you the best and the love you deserve.
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
I told him infidelity, even in the Bible, is reason for divorce.
He does not agree.
I think he is trying to say that I have no right to say he broke his vow to me since I have broken vows in the past.
Makes no sense to me either. I think it is just an attempt to minimize? justify?
This is a woman that is strong enough to handle the truth. I know the truth even when he is telling lies. He is telling lies to me and even worse, to himself
Yes he is lying to himself. He is comfortable doing so.
I am glad to read this quote from you. Keep moving forward with your life ca. You are on the right track. He de-railed long ago.
LA
[This message edited by LA44 at 3:27 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]
