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so I'm pretty close to 100% healed. Finally got the energy to sort through old paperwork from when I left M and had just put it all in a file drawer. Came across ex's old credit card statement. A quick glance and I realized that over a two week span he charged:
2 expensive dinners at nice fancy restaurants (most likely for 2 people each time)
a breakfast (again for 2 people)
2 lunches (for 2 people each time)
a movie (2 tickets bought)

this was a FULL YEAR before I got suspicious and two years before S (but I did find he was cheating during our entire M (and even while dating)

wtf?

I more bummed about the $ (this payment came from our join checking!!)-LOL

Shortly before D-Day, I found a receipt for a pizza place we never go to for like $30.

I questioned him, because it was a place near OW's. He said OW (a work "friend") recommended it so he got lunch there one day - ordered a pizza, didn't like it, so he ordered a pasta dish instead.

I knew it was total bullshit - the bill was that high because he got food for 2 people, but I was still in my fog and let it go... rationalized it by saying it was ok to treat a friend to lunch once in a while.

To this day he will still not admit to their "date". I don't care about that much anymore, but I was supplying his lunch money and I'm pissed he spent it on her.

I more bummed about the $ (this payment came from our join checking!!)-LOL

This shows just how much you have healed,getting pissed it came from your joint acct. Love this.

The credit card statement just reminds you that you're away from his lies and cheating forever. That sweetie is a powerful message to receive.