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Newest Member: Turtlemode (46041)

User Topic: Liar Liar Pants on Fire
Ashland13
♀ 38378
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Newest xPevert shenanigans are that he is trying to "help" monetarily with a new apartment for us. Because I need help so much right now, I've "let" him give an occasional opinion. I know it's generally an SI rule to give crickets, but sometimes, help is more important and you all know some of my situation.

Well, this time I got another head shaker with the advice because it's so far off base with how I think.

He advised me to lie on the applications and put more money than I get, so that on paper it will be in the right brackets to qualify for a place DD and I like. I just shook my head when he was done his speech and said "thank you" to make it go by, but the man knows my thoughts on lying.

And, when it's money and applications, ain't no freakin' way! My past has all been a lie and to start my future with it in the same way? No.

I would rather go without, like a credit card or something, than lie and then not be able to pay.

And why would a person in financial straits -half from lies-tell another person to do it? Yes, I do consider the source, I think that's why I'm amazed. Not shocked, but amazed.


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2424 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
damncutekitty
♀ 5929
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's no point in lying, because they will verify your income when they process your application.

Sounds like a "nod and smile" situation.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Ashland13
♀ 38378
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're right, DCK,

I find myself doing the "Nod and Smile" often nowadays and not just with him.

I'm not one to put down something not true or that I can't prove, either.

It's not in my children's or my own best interest to lie.

What I learned over the year that's hard to put away in my head is that he apparently was lying about money for quite some time. To me, to creditors, to friends and family...he became a person who couldn't tell the truth and there's little comfort in knowing that OW doesn't get much truth either.

There's lingering pain in knowing that I fell for this, but he has a charm when he wants and takes a while for the blinders to come off.

People tell me nowadays that things about him bothered them but they couldn't put their finger on it. I suspect the narcissism and passive aggression, among other things. They explain a lot.

ETA, If I could, I would open a pub and call it "The Nod and Smile". With a picture of a middle finger on the sign.

Yep, the XPervert is not good at managing money or saving it and blames everyone else. He is blaming our house rather than the CS money he pays because of what he's done. He also rents a house with Fatty B and is trying to say that's not hurting his bills. Wha???

I suspect even after I'm dead, he'll find stuff to blame on me.

Such delusion and a new life built on lies. I couldn't stand it.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 5:22 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2424 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
soveryweary
♀ 32265
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ashland, my STXH wanted me to lie to the mortgage company he was dealing with to refinance. He wanted me to tell them he would be paying $50.00 a week less in spousal support.
No way would I do that.
He ended up not refinancing.
Stupid, stupid lying ass.
Stay strong.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 628 | Registered: May 2011
Housefulloflove
♀ 38458
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They are so helpful aren't they? My ex tries to give me unsolicited advice, particularly financial. He is so poor at managing his own finances that it almost seems like he is trying to punish himself with financial ruin yet, he still feels qualified to give financial advice to the person who had handled his money with zero input from him for almost his entire adult life.

"Alright, thanks. Goodbye." is my general response to his "help".


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 5

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