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AFrayedKnot posted 10/27/2013 12:57 PM

Broevil and I love to entertain. We have always had a handful of parties every year. In years past our Halloween party was our biggest one of the year.

The last Halloween party we had was during the A. About 2 weeks before she asked me if the OM could come over while I was at work and help decorate. It was the first confrontation. I said I wasn't comfortable with him coming over while I was away. I got the "we're just friends", "it's nothing", "you are controlling me by not letting me have any friends". Even though he had already been to the house behind my back and it had already gone PA. I wanted to believe so bad that I was wrong that I even invited him to the party myself. The night of the party, she paraded him around the house introducing him to everyone like he was her prize. I was ignored the entire night. Three weeks later was Dday. The confrontation, the party prep, the party itself all held some of the most painful memories of the A.

Last year I refused to have the party. But this year we decided to try to get it back. We planned every bit of it together. We did all of the shopping together. We planned our costumes, decorations, food, games, guests together. We didn't push it. When it got overwhelming we backed off. When the past came up we talked about it and how it is different now.

Well, yesterday was the day. We had a great party. There were probably 85 guests all helping us take it back (whether they knew it or not). What is funny is that as the party was winding down I realized that I hadn't thought about the past or the OM all day. There was no past, there was only the present, and the present was better than ANY past we have ever known.

Jrazz posted 10/27/2013 13:01 PM


Lyonesse posted 10/27/2013 13:03 PM

Thanks for sharing that with us! Happy Halloween!

MsRukia posted 10/27/2013 13:25 PM

That's awesome!

Searchingforhope posted 10/27/2013 13:31 PM

So happy for you Chico!

And were so brave to go there..

There is a restaurant that we haven't gone to...I don't think I will ever be able to. I don't think I'm brave enough.

But really happy to read your story!

wifehad5 posted 10/27/2013 13:36 PM

devasted30 posted 10/27/2013 13:46 PM

Lucky you. Bet you never expected to hear those words or believe them either. But....Lucky You.
Congrats. I hope you have many, many more glorious days.

[This message edited by devasted30 at 1:46 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]

karmahappens posted 10/27/2013 14:12 PM

I was hoping you would update.

I understand the biggies, the events/places you don't think you can get back.

Oh but you can, it takes some guts, hand holding and a little faith, but man it feels good. It just feels right.

Congrats to you and Broevil. Bask in it, you deserve the reward!

toughernow posted 10/27/2013 14:41 PM

Just so happy for you both!

Creating those "new" good memories will be such an important part of a complete R for all of us, JMO.

LosferWords posted 10/27/2013 18:28 PM

That is just way cool, Chicho. Good for you.

Now I have the song "Take It Back" by Cream stuck in my head, and it makes me incredibly happy.

Thanks for sharing the hope and your positive experience!

JustDesserts posted 10/27/2013 18:51 PM

Congrats. Sounds like a treat...not a trick. Nice!

LA44 posted 10/27/2013 19:46 PM

Hooray! I am happy to read this, Chicho!

WOw! 85 people? You guys threw a bender!

Love that you did it all....together. Well done.

Raven96 posted 10/27/2013 20:03 PM

Love this! So happy for you!!! Happy Halloween!

SoVerySadNow posted 10/27/2013 20:31 PM

Very cool. You took it back, you won it - together. Congrats on an awesome step forward.

catlover50 posted 10/28/2013 04:59 AM

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