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burnedcanuckEMS posted 10/27/2013 13:04 PM

I am not sure if this belongs here or in another forum but I need to vent. My divorce has been final since Jan. Since that time my ex H has kept my dog because I no longer own a home - I love in an apartment thats "no pets". He begged me not to give her away and said he would take care of her.

He 'was' living happily ever after with his ho-worker he cheated on me with and they moved out of province about a month ago. In the past couple weeks he has been sending me random texts about the dog. I had a feeling something was up. No surprise I creeped her FB and it would appear they are broken up. He is moving back here. Last time they split up he called me begging me back I told him it would never happen. I think thats what he is up to again. I am really stressed, I would block his calls but I am worried about my dog.

What makes him think after putting me through hell during our entire relationship including before, during and after marriage that I am interested in him at all?? He knows the dog thing is holding me hostage. I just want to scream at him that its his fucking fault I don't own a house anymore. I can't buy my own house because financially they are out of reach for me on my own!! I just want him to fuck off already. I am dreading him moving back to this area!! He wanted the divorce because he thought life with the ho was so wonderful, now he is finding out otherwise.

No part of me will ever go back to his abusive bullshit. I appreciate that he is keeping my dog but thats about it. I am finally enjoying my freedom but in the end he still has a hold on me. I hate this shit. I don't know how to deal with this. Do I go no contact? I won't answer his calls, I only accept texts right now. Anyone else out here in SI land experience anything like this? Where your ex tries to get you back?

gahurts posted 10/27/2013 14:16 PM

I'm a little confused. Were you willing/planning on giving the dog away when your XWH asked to keep her?

If you had given her away you not have any more contact with her, she would be someone else's pet. Why isn't that the case here. You gave your dog to XWH. She is his responsibility now. Unless he wants to give her back to you and you can take her, I do not see any reason for you to have any additional contact with him. If somethign happens to the dog, it is his responsibility to deal with it. There is no reason for him to seek out your guidance or bother you with details. She is his dog now.

If you stay NC with him and black his phone, then there is no opportunity for him to try to suck you back into his drama.

Pass posted 10/27/2013 21:54 PM

Hey Canuck,

Check out this song. I hope it brings you a smile.

burnedcanuckEMS posted 10/28/2013 13:36 PM

Thanks Pass - that was very cute!

And yes, I was willing to give her away but only because I thought I had no other choice. At first my mom was going to take her but within a week was too stressed as this would be her first indoor dog. And he begged me to let him keep her.... I have been thinking about this and I think you are right he is using her as an excuse to pull me into his drama.

We couldn't have children so this is especially hard for me to accept. I also realize I have been stalling. I have looked at a few houses but I a, scared to make the leap on my own to purchase. A nice one within my budget came on the market this week, fenced yard, would be perfect. I am scared but going to go look at it. Wish me luck. Being divorced sucks, it makes decisions like this very difficult!

jo2love posted 10/28/2013 13:44 PM

Good luck with the house. I hope it's a perfect fit.

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