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I hope I'm not setting myself up

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maddmurph posted 10/27/2013 14:51 PM

So things have been pretty good lately. Things including my mental state, her mental state, the kids, my IC (she starts Friday how about that?), MC and just things in general. She has moved herself back upstairs to our room and we have been close. I still have the lawyer on speed dial but not on retainer. So we drink a lot smoothies and we have killed our magic bullet. I decided to go out and buy a new blender, I got a nice one. I just feel like that and having her upstairs are big steps on my part to accepting her back. I'm just afraid it's all going to go to crap again. Am I moving too fast? Accepting her too fast?

karmahappens posted 10/27/2013 15:45 PM

Keep your eyes open.

On Friday, just a few days ago you were feeling a lot different.

She was screaming, feeling bad for herself.

Remember, this is a long, long road. Lots of bumps along the way.

Don't sweep anything under the rug in favor of making things better, they will only get worse.

You need to face the demons, lift up the rugs and clean every cob-web and piece of dirt hiding underneath.

Don't let her off here, make her accountable, make her answer for her actions. She needs to stay in IC, deal with her issues and get healthy.

Don't accept a few good days in exchange for getting real. Until you can face these issues and heal from them you won't be able to really walk through this.

Slow and steady maddmurph.

sodamnlost posted 10/27/2013 15:50 PM

Don't accept a few good days in exchange for getting real. Until you can face these issues and heal from them you won't be able to really walk through this.

Wonderful advice! It's easy to fall into "good" and ignore the red flags. Just don't. If she's real - you will know.

2boys11 posted 10/27/2013 19:40 PM

Hi,

I just wanted to let you know I am in a similar situation. I am nervously optimistic that things are going pretty well. It's hard to trust it though and I am constantly making sure I'm seeing things as they are and not just keeping the peace. If we stay together, I need all the issues out and dealt with.

So it's good that it's going pretty well and yet a little scary at the same time!

I'm just concentrating on myself and self-care. If it continues to go well, great. If it takes a bad turn, then I will be strong and ready.

Ugh, I wish I could just believe it and not second guess EVERYTHING. Anyway, you are not alone! Good luck....

maddmurph posted 10/28/2013 07:55 AM

We had a really good weekend. I do need to remember that was just a couple days and that there are things she has to do to make it right. Thank you for reminding me of that.

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