Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Basia52 (45745)

User Topic: I hope I'm not setting myself up
maddmurph
♂ 40940
Member # 40940
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So things have been pretty good lately. Things including my mental state, her mental state, the kids, my IC (she starts Friday how about that?), MC and just things in general. She has moved herself back upstairs to our room and we have been close. I still have the lawyer on speed dial but not on retainer. So we drink a lot smoothies and we have killed our magic bullet. I decided to go out and buy a new blender, I got a nice one. I just feel like that and having her upstairs are big steps on my part to accepting her back. I'm just afraid it's all going to go to crap again. Am I moving too fast? Accepting her too fast?


Me - BS, 33
Her - WW, 33
DS 7, DD 3

Posts: 129 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: OH
karmahappens
♀ 35846
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Keep your eyes open.

On Friday, just a few days ago you were feeling a lot different.

She was screaming, feeling bad for herself.

Remember, this is a long, long road. Lots of bumps along the way.

Don't sweep anything under the rug in favor of making things better, they will only get worse.

You need to face the demons, lift up the rugs and clean every cob-web and piece of dirt hiding underneath.

Don't let her off here, make her accountable, make her answer for her actions. She needs to stay in IC, deal with her issues and get healthy.

Don't accept a few good days in exchange for getting real. Until you can face these issues and heal from them you won't be able to really walk through this.

Slow and steady maddmurph.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3858 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
sodamnlost
♀ 37190
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't accept a few good days in exchange for getting real. Until you can face these issues and heal from them you won't be able to really walk through this.

Wonderful advice! It's easy to fall into "good" and ignore the red flags. Just don't. If she's real - you will know.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
2boys11
♀ 40551
Member # 40551
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi,

I just wanted to let you know I am in a similar situation. I am nervously optimistic that things are going pretty well. It's hard to trust it though and I am constantly making sure I'm seeing things as they are and not just keeping the peace. If we stay together, I need all the issues out and dealt with.

So it's good that it's going pretty well and yet a little scary at the same time!

I'm just concentrating on myself and self-care. If it continues to go well, great. If it takes a bad turn, then I will be strong and ready.

Ugh, I wish I could just believe it and not second guess EVERYTHING. Anyway, you are not alone! Good luck....


BS - Me, 36
FWH- Him, 38
Married 10 years, 3 beautiful kids 6 and under
DDay - Sept 13, 2013
TT for 7 months

Posts: 17 | Registered: Sep 2013
maddmurph
♂ 40940
Member # 40940
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We had a really good weekend. I do need to remember that was just a couple days and that there are things she has to do to make it right. Thank you for reminding me of that.


Me - BS, 33
Her - WW, 33
DS 7, DD 3

Posts: 129 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: OH
Topic Posts: 5

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.