I love my husband. I want to have a healthy happy M with him. I donít know if itís possible. I just canít seem to let it go. The constant wondering, the anger at myself for needing to check-up, the stories I make in my head, the frequent crying, the way I deceive him before I start looking for thingsÖÖÖÖthe list goes on.
Iím beginning to think the A didnít completely destroy our M, but my reaction to it will, if something doesnít change soon. This is not something WH is putting on me, but something Iím putting on myself.
He understands it will take time & tells me that. He answers all my questions, lets me look at things, has given me passwords, encourages me to talk to him instead of making a mountain out of a mole hill (which I frequently do), listens while I ventÖetc.
Our M is not where it should be, but itís better than it has been in years. I wonder if a temporary separation would help or hurt our situation. How are we supposed to work on our M if we are apart? How can I find some peace if we are together? I feel like I need a break from it all.