One thing that stood out a lot is talk of guilt, directly after false R ended.
When I'm consumed with a thought about the A, I tend to turn to reading. The web has some interesting things on the topic, but one aspect pegs the XPervert to a T. It talks on Wikepedia of "projection", which is exactly what he does.
This is the blame that the WH puts on the BS, if I read it right, and it's apparently a way of warding off guilt. If a problem is made the fault of someone else, a person who actually did the wrong apparently can try to stave off guilt.
I thought this was very interesting and it helped me immensely. It said that it's a defense mechanism.
So now I search for ideas on how not to let this happen or to combat it. I already do somewhat and it's not easy- the XPervert will call it "arguing". It's not arguing, though, it's the truth he simply does not want to hear.
I didn't know if this would help anyone else, but it gave me a lot to think about and made me feel an ounce better about myself. Some of the blame game is simply false and very easy to know is a farce, but some is very well calculated.
Wikepedia is questionable, as a resource, granted, but sometimes they have the same info as other places. It's a "grain of salt" kind of site, and possibly same with the concept, but it gives something more to do than just being upset.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.