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My BS is in grief. Not talking much, just shutting down. I love her and hold her, listen to her. Any advice?

Just continue to sooth her in the ways that you know she likes....

I lightly stroked my wife's hair every night until she fell asleep..... These types of soothing do not require words.....

If you're a praying man, start praying aloud (softly)for her...

thanks Card. I am doing this sort of thing. Not sure if it is helping but I will continue.

This is hard. A lot depends on what she is willing to except. What's okay one time was often not the next with me and my wife. You should also expect her to possibly yell and say things that are not like her, things that may cut your heart out, things that will make you scared. This was and is still very hard for me. I wish I could tell you exactly how to do this but I think everyone is different on this one. I think the best thing I can tell you is do not expect anything from her and try to give and understand the best you can. I don't know how well I did or continue to do this but I just keep trying to do my best. Good luck, this is hard!